Why does he kiss me if doesn’t love me?

Mallika Pathak
man and woman in office


Dear ma’am,

I am a married woman with two children and an officer in a finance company. My married life is not good.

I love a guy at work who is a Muslim and my subordinate. He kisses me, touches me, hugs me… but never expresses any feelings. He is unmarried… Whenever I ask him about his feelings for me. he says, “Why do you ask such foolish questions?”

I am confused, what does he think about me? He is not clear in our relationship. If he doesn’t love me then why whenever I am alone does he kiss me? Please help me.

Related reading: He says he does not love me anymore, but shows love at other times

Mallika Pathak says:


From what you’ve described, I understand that you have very strong emotional feelings for the said person. On the other hand, from what you’ve described of his behaviour, it seems very obvious that he only desires you physically. For you, the signs that he hugs you and kisses you when alone, may be signs that he “loves” you. But from what is evident, for him these are just opportune moments.

I understand that this is a very brutal way of putting it, but this guy does seem to be the kind that will manipulate you into agreeing to establish physical contact without giving the assurance of emotional support. His understanding of the fact that you are in love with him, and still not looking out for you is proof enough.

Don’t let someone like this fool you into thinking your emotions are worth them.

Seek marital therapy to strengthen your relationship with your partner.


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