(As told to Sidharth Bharati)
Ours was a typical arranged marriage
I am suffering. Yet, I live in eternal hope. That is the best way to describe my current state of being. I am a woman. I got married to this gentle psycho ten years ago, and forgot what peace feels like. He was 31 and I was 25 when we got married. It was a usual south Indian arranged marriage, which was held in strict accordance with all the rituals he believed in. He had bought a flat, paid back all loans, married his sister off and had risen to an important position in his company when we married. Soon, I figured out that his only desire in life was to become a father, which he strongly believed would make his existence complete.
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He was obsessed with a desire for children
A few months after our honeymoon, he began checking with me for pregnancy, and the concern only became an obsession in the months that ensued. Sex became mechanical, and goal-oriented. Even my in-laws did not ask me. He did. Every morning, he made me feel small, and my entire personality reduced to just a uterus that could bear him a child.
Every morning, he made me feel small, and my entire personality reduced to just a uterus that could bear him a child.
I endured it.