Long-Distance Marriage: I am going Crazy Without My Husband

Long-distance marriage can sometimes get lonely

I am a 28-year-old woman working in a company and I am in a long-distance marriage. My husband has a job that gets him transferred every 4 years and I can’t stay with him because of that.

I did not know a long-distance marriage could be so problematic

I can’t change my job after every 4 years and also his postings are in places where minimum facilities aren’t there to have a family life. We are actually a married couple living apart because of our careers. I have thought of ending my career but I am the only daughter and I have some responsibilities towards my parents. I can’t ask for money from him though he will give me without any questions. It’s for my own self-respect and honour of my parents that I don’t want to ask him.

Everything was planned but now I can’t live alone like this, neither can he. It’s affecting my health and mental peace. I know there is only one solution. He should change his job and settle down in a place and I should go there and find another job. It’s not so easy, it will take time. 

I don’t know how to deal with this. I can’t connect with any of my in-laws. I am basically an introvert. I can’t handle it when my MIL shows me pity and it does not help at all. I am living with his parents. But I can’t consider it as my home. And the place I called home, I am kind of a guest there now. 

These are my long-distance marriage problems. I just want to find some peace within me. I am losing it, I can’t express but I know what’s going on within me. I want to have a healthy relationship with my spouse again.

Dear Lady,

There are married couples living apart for their career but it’s understandable that living separately can be emotionally taxing.

Can you change jobs?

I don’t know which industry both you and your husband work in. Is it possible that both of you change your jobs to a location which enables you to stay together? This seems like the only option here. Both of you will need to actively hunt for avenues that enable you to live in the same location.

It is not a must to stay with in-laws

You have mentioned you live with your in-laws. Is it a must that either of you have to stay with them? You can find your own space or live with your parents too.

There are these factors that need to be considered. These are the suggestions that came to my mind.

Let me know if this workable for you.

All the best!

Snigdha Mishra

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