Why I look forward to new problems with my husband?

angry man fighting with wife


I know this sounds crazy. But I’m not a troublemaker for my family. Really.

Just recently, my husband Divyesh and I argued over the touchy issue of planning our son’s academic future; where should we send him ?… You see, Divyesh tends to keep things holed up in his head, perhaps for the fear of ridicule, rejection or reprimand. (Something to do with him being the only son in a joint family, laden with gigantic expectations).

Anyway, I whined about how he never listens or acknowledges my views or feelings. He blew up on how I never try to understand his silence. In the end, we miraculously realized that we had both thought of the same path for our son !

And thus started our next fight. Why couldn’t he tell me earlier to save time and tempers ? Why didn’t I care to ask him (at least a dozen times) about it ? As usual, I shut myself in another room while he went on to snore away in our bedroom.

The next morning, amnesia struck us ! We greeted each other, chatted over masala tea and khakhra, and basically didn’t care to rewind to last night. Why ? Because a good night’s sleep cooled us down, and helped us realize that our egos be damned, our common goal was achieved. It didn’t matter who thought about it first.

Then there was the time when an aunt (third person) instigated me about why Divyesh doesn’t plan foreign holidays in spite of having enough to spend. I fought with him over this; but for once, we both consciously concluded that it was a worthless fight brought on by a relative who can’t solve her own similar family problems ! This made us realize how strong our relationship is, and should be.

Or how about when that woman friend from his college days started flirting with him ? And he flirted back, OMG. Thus we got one more reason to call it quits. But again, at the end of shouting, crying and accusing, it dawned on us that it’s just a bad phase. A pause. Where he finally understood how I like attention served to me. Where I realized that he is NOT the romantic, naughty kind, and I like it that way myself.

See, each fight, argument or discussion simply helped us discover new traits within ourselves and each other. So the understanding between us has always grown. With strong roots. So we’re tied to each other. With no clause for escape. At the same time, we’ve matured individually.

Maybe it’s us. The way I am. We can’t avoid angry phases. So we work around them. It’s worked so far. Touchwood.


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