Counselling

Love Marriage Problems: Our Financial Backgrounds are Very Different

Should I marry him, should I not?
only love can not sustain life. Financial issues create love marriage problems

I am talking to a guy for the last one year. I knew him earlier and didn’t like him much, but when we started talking I started liking him and realizing the good qualities in him. He proposed marriage and I love him too. Since I believe in astrology I started matching kundali chart but it was not matching. Also, I consulted astrologers, all said no because of some doshas in the kundali. I don’t know how to deal with these love marriage problems.

Is money important in relationships?

I got the aspect of kundali out of my mind. It doesn’t matter if it isn’t matching. But what now I am thinking of is his financial background. He comes from a poor family and is not ambitious either. Whenever I ask him about future plans he doesn’t have an answer. I come from a financially sound background, sometimes I wonder whether he wants to marry me for money. But he said he can sign an affidavit that he won’t claim my money after marriage.

I keep thinking if there is love, why are there so many doubts in my mind. I’m afraid to talk to my parents too, because they wouldn’t agree to the marriage because of his financial background. I have asked him to change his job, but he doesn’t want to do that. He is already 5 years older to me and his parents want him to get married soon.

Please suggest what I should go.

relationship counselling
Dear Confused Lady,

You have given the answer yourself. You don’t think this guy is okay for marriage. The kind of love that you share now, will disappear when your hopes and dreams are dashed. There is a link between money and relationships no matter how much we deny it.

Not all love end in marriage

Love is of many kinds and not all ends up in marriage. This is something we need to understand. Marriage is about spending a lifetime together crossing all the hurdles together, where you think of the entire future together. All the joys and all troubles are a big dark hole and you hold your hands and jump in knowing both of you won’t let go. Sometimes if you trust a friend enough to never let you go, you marry a friend. At the end of the day you also love this friend and somehow you are not naming this love as the romantic love. Not yet.

Financial issues create love marriage problems
Am I in love or am I just confused ? Image source

Ask him for some time

For now, ask this guy for time. Don’t marry because his parents desire that. Then later on you will forget that you had a mind of your own and will have to follow all his parents’ decisions. That will make you sadder and will make you write more letters to me. Then I will ask you to evaluate what your heart desires. Honestly, your heart doesn’t desire this guy now, not completely. And later on you will stop desiring this guy more. He seems the sort who will put his parents’ decisions first and nothing wrong with that if it is not at the cost of your own happiness. It is not a good idea to compromise on your own happiness and get married.

Someday what I’m saying will seem like golden words and not the sour pill it might seem now. Your Prince Charming will come one day. But today, this guy is not your Prince Charming.

Cheers

Joie Bose

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