Was He Lusting For Love Or Loving The Lust?

What happens when love pushes a man to only lust and he starts loving the lust keeping the love away? This is the story of a man who wanted only love but that left him heartbroken and then eluded him for years till he decided to take out love from his life and indulge only in lust. He ended up giving lust all the importance in his life and didn’t want a relationship when he would be left heartbroken. So in the debate between lust vs love in his mind it was lust that won. Why? Read on…

He Had A Troubled Childhood

He belonged to Bangalore but studied in a boarding school in Nainital till class 10. As a kid, he was bullied because his Hindi language skills were not up to the standards of the local boys from the northern part of India. He came back to Bangalore to finish his high school and was living with his mother and sister. His father passed away in an accident when he was just a year old. Being the youngest in the family, he was protected and loved more than anyone else. His traumatic childhood and the lack of a father-figure made him very sensitive.

The heartbreak

As he grew older, through his late teens, he became rebellious. He fell in love with a girl in college. By the time he graduated, he found out that she was cheating on him. He was completely heartbroken. All through his childhood and teenage life, he only wished to be happy and the time he spent with this girl in a relationship was perhaps the happiest of all.

He found out that she was cheating on him.
He found out that she was cheating on him.

Read more: Why lust is important to understand love

He struggled to get over her. He spent many sleepless nights only thinking of his fate, that had yet again cheated him. He began dating again. With a group of friends, he started going out to clubs, to the gym and on treks, all with one motive. He wanted to get laid. He now only wanted to be in lust and did not want to fall in love at all. He kept his feelings strictly locked up and let lust take over.

In all his attempts to find multiple sex partners, I wondered if deep within, he only wanted to get over his pain of being cheated by his ex or was he indeed being lustful. Because there is no denying the fact that he was deeply in love with the girl in college and his want to give priority to lust was nothing but revenge sex. 

He wants to give priority to lust was nothing but revenge sex
He wants to give priority to lust was nothing but revenge sex

Read more: How the story of Kama and Rati reveals India’s forgotten celebration of love

He realised his lust didn’t matter to his girl

His love and lust story reached his girlfriend and he had secretly hoped that she would get jealous of his actions and come running back to him. Nothing of that sort happened and she never reached out to him and he started sinking more and more into a loveless pit of lust. Finally nothing mattered more and he started enjoying his no strings attached casual sex escapades. He gave into lust completely and the last ember of love that had some hope of resurrection was forever gone.

Finding love for lust

This is a classic story of a heart broken man who wants to take revenge by sleeping around. As he tried to get over his heartbreak by sleeping around, his new found love for lust completely took over his sensitive side. I couldn’t help but wonder, if it was his childhood, him being raised by a single mother or the girl who chose lust over love that were responsible for the choices in his life.

But in his case, I understood that for many, sex becomes a motivation to do anything in life. Does that mean he is bad guy? No, he is very practical and brutally honest about his lust to all the women he meets. He never promises them a marriage or a relationship. “Never say never. Who knows I might fall in love again!” he does say to me once in a while.

Love and lust story

I had asked him once does he really like this hooking up lifestyle and is it really all that fun? He admitted initially when he started it was just to forget his girlfriend, just an attempt to mend his broken heart. Then he started loving the lust. He would look forward to the erotic sessions, the variety, the things every woman taught him in bed and the fact that there was no more give and take than sex, made him happy. He felt there was no fear of nursing a broken heart later on. So the hookups extended to holidays, dinners, weekend resort stays and every time he was back home fresh and rearing to go. He just wanted this life. He wanted nothing more and the women he met also enjoyed the lust and never wanted to get into a relationship.

Is love knocking on the door?

Is love knocking on the door
Is love knocking on the door

The last time we met he told me something very interesting. He met a lady at a friend’s party and they hooked up. After their first night together he realised that something was different but he could not pinpoint what it was. Then when he had his next hookup, after dinner at a fancy restaurant something came over him, and he just did not look forward to sex with her. He dropped her home and went home and there was no steamy sex. He could not understand what it was but he only wanted that lady he met at the friend’s party and sex with anyone else wasn’t on his mind.


For the first few weeks he said he feels only lust for her and they hooked up but he hasn’t dared to ask her who she stills hooks up with or for her also if it’s only him. The relationship is still no-strings attached but there is some kind of  a preference because they find themselves in each other’s bed three to four times a week. Something that had never happened with anyone before. He still doesn’t want to believe it’s love because he is still not sure his heart has healed to take another shot but you can say he is enjoying lust with one single woman at the moment and he wants to keep it that way for sometime. Rest only destiny will decide, he feels.

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Readers Comments On “Was He Lusting For Love Or Loving The Lust?”

  1. Vasudha Tripathi

    Fate is definitely merciless and especially on some people as this boy.. He is doing nothing wrong, he just wants to acquire stability… GOD BLESS HIM

  2. Vasudha Tripathi

    Oh heavens!! Poor guy!! Some people have to bear the merciless nature of fate and that somehow change them. Not that the boy is doing any wrong, he just needs to be more stable.

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