Army Major Nikhil Handa allegedly killed another officer’s wife after she refused to reciprocate his feelings and blatantly declined his offer to marry her. But as a society, we sat up and started criticising the woman in question instead.
Army Major Nikhil Handa allegedly killed another officer’s wife after she refused to reciprocate his feelings and blatantly declined his offer to marry her. Handa and the lady had met in 2015 and were in constant touch. Handa was reportedly obsessed with her and wanted to marry her. He was once even reprimanded and warned by the woman’s husband when he found them video chatting. But the guy paid no heed and continued calling her up. On Monday, when he proposed to her and she rejected, he is known to have killed her.
We live in a judgemental society
The fact that a life was lost is sad. It’s sadder that this was an act in a fit of rage over love. But what makes it worse is the fact that we as a society have once again failed the quintessential ‘civic test’.
We could have been sad about the incident or felt horrible for the woman and her family. At most we could have been unfazed and least bothered by what happened to them. An indifferent society sometimes is better than a judgmental society. But like I said, we often fail in the civic test; we sat up and started criticising the woman in question.
We asked why she was even in touch with the guy despite being married. Why did she sit in his car? Which woman in her right mind would sit in a ‘paraya’ man’s car? I wouldn’t be surprised if someone visited her Facebook profile and said, “Did you look at her pictures? They say a lot about her character.”
Yes. CHARACTER! What exactly is this all-fragile, all-gas, no-substance word?
This is how we define character
A woman who is married and has a kid decides to go out and have a drink alone. The neighbourhood aunty who is sitting there with her gang of friends spots the woman sipping her beer (yes, not wine but beer). Do I need to say anything more about the woman’s character?
A young girl comes back from office really late. She is single and is dropped by a male colleague. What could be worse in this situation is the girl being dropped by different colleagues on different days. Again, do I need to say more?
God forbid, but if anything happens to any of these women, it will be declared that they “invited it” and the neighborhood aunties and the desperate, equally nosey uncles will proudly claim to have always known it!
I can’t even begin to imagine the kind of turmoil the deceased’s family must be going through. But do they know that in the years to come, the army officer will be looked and talked about in hushed tones mostly as “that guy whose wife had an affair and was killed”. I know a lot of you while reading this can almost hear these words, like I can.
We are a merciless society and especially if we are talking about our women. Right from being raped to being loved and killed, it is somehow always the woman’s fault. Isn’t it?
We at Bonobology know that our one article will not change the society but as mother Teresa once said, “I know I am a drop in the ocean. But I am still a drop”. Heard about ripple effect? Yes sometimes, even a drop creates it!
(From the Editor’s Desk)