We're having a baby

How my intimate involvement in the 9 months of my wife’s pregnancy laid the foundations of a deep-spiritual relationship with my daughter

Bijay Jasjit Anand | Posted on 20 Dec 2016
Time to read: 2 min
Preciousness of the Pregnancy Period - Our Journey | Bonobology

The day after my wife and I finished celebrating the news of her pregnancy, I cancelled all future business trips that I had planned for the next 12 months. My mind was blank to any other thought except to spend every waking moment with my wife and my precious on-the-way baby and I wanted to revel in and cherish every experience that goes with the pregnancy period, as well as the immediate months following the delivery.

And what a joyous and fulfilling decision that turned out to be. From every sonography that my wife had to undergo, to every single meeting with her gynaecologist. From planning the room for my incoming princess (I somehow had never any doubt in my mind that the child would be a girl) to even shopping for her clothes, it was one of the best periods of not only our marriage but also of my entire life. 

As parents, we paid acute attention to the development of the physical health as well as psychological well-being of our child. Even the minuscule amount of non-veg that we ever ate went out of the window, fried foods were out and so were junk foods, spicy foods, and whatever else is considered to be unhealthy or tamasic.

For the psychological health of the baby, violent action films were phased out of our lives. The music that played throughout the day were Vedic chants, hymns and soulful instrumental renditions.

And of course there were prenatal yoga sessions with the beautiful Anugraha Unnikrishnan. We religiously attended every single one.

The only reason why I have shared all of the above is to iterate the preciousness of the pregnancy period and how we have it in our power to convert those months into an opportunity to not only strengthen our bonds with our spouses but also create a spiritual bond with our child, because from the third month onwards, the child hears, feels and some even say, sees everything. Whatever you do, see, hear, feel, the child feels also. 

As parents, a lot of us have a warped notion of the importance of creating wealth, legacies or large empires for our children. I feel it is more important to create a solid foundation in the formative years of the child, so that the child grows to be healthy, happy and has the mental tensility to be able to weather the ups and downs that this life has to offer.

In reality, what our child needs from us is our time, love and affection. Any child who is showered with material wealth devoid of love grows up to be an unhappy human being. If we were really to wish to do something of value for our children, all we need to do is to nourish them in their formative years.

When I hear about Saif Ali Khan Pataudi having the same dedication, love and tenderness towards Kareena and spending time with her and treating pregnancy as an important, formative and nourishing experience, I feel that there is hope for this world. 

Hope, because children borne out of such compassion, spirituality and wisdom are seldom anything but angels who will invariably grow up and spread love, warmth and happiness in a sanity-deprived world.


Comments : 2

Siddhartha Mishra: A significant piece on awareness during pregnancy . " Parents, especially mothers, have a lot of emotional and psychic influence on their children. Fathers have an intellectual influence on their children, and mothers have an emotional influence on their children. It is best if the father and mother together can make an effort to provide a good understanding in the child by becoming an example of the life which they wish the child to lead. Children tend to pick up many things psychically, not intellectually, not logically or rationally. Children know when you are telling them a lie; they feel it intuitively. They may not be able to figure out the sentence in which you said the lie but they know that you have told them a lie somewhere. They have a very keen, very active intuitive ability up to the age of eight or twelve years. Then the intellect begins gradually to take over. From the yogic point of view it is said that all parents must be able to provide their children with good samskaras as well as an understanding of the lifestyle. This can only happen if you live your own life sincerely, without imposing your ambitions and your expectations on your children. So you have to make an effort to change yourself first, because only through being a righteous example can you teach others how to live in the right way.There has been a tradition, not only a belief, but a tradition which has always maintained that right from the moment of conception we can provide good, positive samskaras to the foetus, to the baby inside the womb. There have been many examples in history, and I think that modern science is even recognising this concept where after the third month when the soul actually enters the womb of the mother, it is possible to give positive samskaras, positive education to the unborn child so that when the child is born it will be a different child altogether. Many people are experimenting with such ideas and practices of yoga and I have personally seen people having very good results. The quality of children taking birth after a yogic connection between their parents is incredibly different to those who have bad no connection with a spiritual tradition or a yogic tradition. I can only say that it is possible to train the foetus through yoga and in the course of time that person can become a genius. --- Satsang on Children Paramahamsa Niranjanananda Ganga Darshan, 1989-1994 , Munger , Thanks for inspiring Bijay ji

Himani Pande: Nice write up and some very good lines of thought behind it...


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