Men and women are different though we both belong to the Homo sapiens cadre. You can see this in all living beings especially in mammals. Women have intrinsic physical and psychological differences that we need to acknowledge and set our behaviours accordingly. After all the basic Y chromosome belongs to the male of the species and this one different colour all that is unique to the male sex.
Although we may appreciate several observable differences such as size, strength, and noticeable sexual components in each of the sexes, it is the psychological differences that have not been discussed and understood. This may lead to conflicts and confusion in close relationships and also in the bedroom.
Feminists may cry themselves hoarse about equality among genders and I do agree that they need to be paid equal salaries in the work environment. However, our elders and now neuro-scientists and psychologists lay it bare for all to know that the differences are stark and it is in the interest of building a sane society that we pay heed to them.
How men and women brains are different from each other
Says UC-Irvine professor of neurobiology and behaviour Larry Cahill, PhD. “ The neuroscience literature shows that the human brain is a sex-typed organ with distinct anatomical differences in neural structures and accompanying physiological differences in function, in the first-ever issue of any neuroscience journal devoted entirely to the influence of sex differences on nervous-system function.
Some examples brought to bear on these “innate differences” often come from studies on different primates, such as rhesus monkeys. One experiment offered male and female monkeys traditionally “girly” (“plush”) or “boyish” (“wheeled”) toys and observed which kinds of toys each would prefer. This team of researchers found that male rhesus monkeys appeared to naturally favour “wheeled” toys, whereas the females played predominantly with “plush” toys. This, they argued, was a sign that “boys and girls [may] prefer different physical activities with different types of behaviours and different levels of energy expenditure.”
Adding to the picture, other research has shown that the genders begin to differ in personality very early in life. For example, one study published in 2013 looked at ratings of the temperament of 357 pairs of twins made when they were three-years-old. The boys were rated as more active, on average, than the girls, while the girls were rated as shyer and as having more control over their attention and behaviour. These findings make sense to evolutionary psychologists who say that our psychological traits today reflect the effect of survival demands experienced by our distant ancestors, and further, that these demands were different for men and women. For example, women with more nurturing personalities would have been more likely to succeed in raising a vulnerable offspring, while men with bolder personalities would have been more successful in competing for mates. In turn, these traits would have been passed down to successive generations.”
Read more: Health benefits of sex for men and women
The dynamics of sexual behaviour in men and women
Each couple needs to figure out for themselves how their partners differ from themselves sexually. Here are a few that may resonate with you:
1. Men are turned on visually and want what they see. This is the factor that most of the fashion industry reaps its profits. Women play into it by dressing up and looking appealing and attractive to men. Women are more auditory and olfactory in nature, they are turned on or off by how the man smells and sounds.
2. Women also have nesting instincts that are stronger than those of men. Men are happy to have success in getting a mate. Women are more cautious and instinctively need a man who will look after their offspring. So you may see women are called gold diggers for going for older, wealthier and more stable men.
3. Men are more energetic and aggressive in the process of lovemaking and also more focused in their endeavour to reach there. Women need a sense of connection; a spark, a feeling of being cared for, and these are more abstract than those of a man. Here is where the man gets confused about what he needs to do right for this woman he loves. A man is quite comfortable to have sex without labelling it as lovemaking, a woman needs to feel the euphoria of the entire event – it is also linked to her orgasm, her sense of belonging.
4. Men approach conflicts differently – they would rather shy away than talking about it. Women typically talk and talk till the cows come home! Sometimes communication is the key – her romantic fantasies and his immediate needs must find a common platform to sync.
5. Men need to understand that women need time to reach their comfort zone while having sex. That he must train himself to wait and help her reach her climax too. Women, here’s a tip: a man feels comforted and secure with back rubs – you see that is the first touch he got from his mother!
The differences in sexual behaviour are to be understood and accepted, not challenged or confronted. Harmony results from men and women accepting their differences and accommodating them in bed.