Men versus women: How they shop
You know what they say about going shopping with women. You will be stuck outside the trial room for half the day and then spend the rest of it carrying around shopping bags and trying not to complain about your swollen feet. Shopping with men on the other hand means you might shop for clothes, books and groceries and still be home for lunch. So, I decided to find the truth behind these perceptions and find out if, according to theory, men and women do shop very differently. For research purposes, I tagged along with a few of my friends when they went shopping and here’s what I found out in the course of those few days:
For this day, I chose Ronit. Ronit is sunshine and lame jokes and all things nice till you decide to steal a bite from his pizza. Speaking from experience, you might lose a few of your fingers. I expected this day to involve buying a lot of chips, coffee and soft drinks.
Here’s what he bought
1. Potatoes. Because everyone needs potatoes
2. Virgin olive oil. Here, I learned that there’s also an extra virgin kind meant only for dressing
4. Hakka noodles. The thicker kind. Because it makes a difference in flavour, apparently
5. Some capsicum. More bell peppers. Yes, there’s a difference
6. Coffee. I thanked god because something normal at last.
What I bought
2. Oil. The cheap kind.
Day 1 conclusion
We were united by our shared disappointment at not being able to buy the super amazing and expensive tea and coffee. But that’s as far as the similarities went. Now on to the dreaded day 2.
Dreaded because it involved clothes shopping. Here I made the mistake of choosing Ranveer. His jokes, like his fashion sense, are always on point. And I was in for a treat.
What he bought
1. Solid polo T-shirts. He insisted that they had to be solid so they can go better with bright jackets. I nodded along as if I understood. These took him 3 hours to pick and bargain for. I planned the details of his early demise during this time.
2. A pair of classic blue jeans. Somehow, this took him an hour. And somehow, I survived through the ordeal.
3. Bright jackets. 1 blue and 1 mauve. I wouldn’t be caught dead in them. This took a little over 4 hours.
4. A black belt. Not a normal black leather belt, no. But a belt the exact shade of black as his shoes and wallet. I wondered if I should punch his eyes to that exact shade.
What I bought
1. 1 black Iron Man t-shirt. This took me 5 minutes to buy and him the rest of the day to get over.
Day 2 conclusion
Anyone who said that it’s easy to buy clothes with guys deserves to be punched senseless and then made to buy painkillers to help with foot and backache.
Another classic error of judgement. This day was make-up buying day and I decided to up my game by going with two friends instead of one. Priya is a panda ever dressed in ratty grey T-shirts but is known to also dress to kill if the occasion calls for it. Rehan is a cross-dresser and is still annoyed at me because I dared to ask him the difference between eye-liner and eye-shadow.
What he bought
1. Cookie crumble nail polish. When I looked interested, he informed me that this, in fact, cannot be eaten. I was heartbroken
2. Green nail polish. Because the more, the merrier, right?
3. Squid ink nail polish. Because calling it just black is not so much fun, is it?
4. Bronze highlighter
What she bought
1. Liquid pale blue eyeliner
2. Baby pink lip gloss. Which is apparently different from both lip balm and lipstick. Yes, I asked. And yes, she almost punched me
What I bought
1. Cat-face socks
Day 3 conclusion
I learnt a few things today. I learnt that highlighter goes on cheeks. Foundation should match your skin pigment. One should always use a blender to blend eye-shadow and liner. That there is something called contouring. And that I do not care about any of this shit.
Moral of the story
By the end of this social experiment, I found myself wiser and more patient. I also found that cat socks are just as comfortable as dog socks. And some women do like teddy bears and make-up. Sadly or not so sadly, I am not one of them. Also, I concluded that men and women do shop differently but still not according to usual perceptions. Oh, and I hereby also conclude that I should not go shopping, even for research, when I am broke. Because I am stuck eating Maggi for the rest of the month.