Live-in and Open

When we met a couple who had come together for ‘convenience’ of swinging

In which they discover the dangers of not asking the right questions at the right time before deciding to meet up to swap wives
Couple in bed

(As told to Saurabh Dalal)

For those of you who are catching up with this series here, my wife Shweta and I are a working couple. We embarked on a new adventure with a close friend couple by going on a weekend vacation to Ooty with them, where we swapped partners for the night. However, we felt guilty and we realised swapping is easier with strangers than known people. We met a couple who gave us new insights into how couples are using swinging to bring never ending adventure and spice into their lives. Then we encountered an attached couple, who were married to different people, but swung together. The story continues…

We got in touch with Manoj and Jyoti through a local swingers group on Yahoo Groups. We connected on the group and began chatting on Yahoo Messenger.

Different personality types

Having chatted with a lot of swingers on various platforms, I could judge the level of education and sophistication of the other person from just a few lines of conversation. And sometimes even the personality type can be judged. For example, a humorous person will crack jokes full of sexual innuendos. A serious person will generally send short one-liners. A naughty person will send a lot of different smileys and even sexual GIF images or videos. An eager to swap person will immediately start asking when we can meet. A cautious person will not share his mobile number and pics. I admit I have earned a lot about human nature by these chats.

Related reading: 6 types of girlfriends we all know

Younger couples are preferred

Manoj had a flourishing business and was well connected in business circles in our city. I liked his frankness and openness about his relationship with Jyoti. We decided to meet casually and see if we liked each other sufficiently to go ahead. They were a middle-aged couple, although most people I have encountered in swinging rarely give their correct age before meeting. That is because there is a premium given by everyone to younger age.

young couple
Image source

I have a theory that while younger men lust after older women, as they themselves age, they get more interested in younger girls. It’s probably psychological, as the company of a younger person makes them feel younger and desirable once again. Swinging gives them an opportunity to fulfil this desire. Women, on the other hand, are put off by the paunches of overweight, middle-aged males. Therefore, both of them are more attracted by their younger counterparts and look for couples younger than them.

We had been waiting for almost 5 minutes at the cafe when Manoj joined us. I liked him instantly. He looked around at others sitting in the cafe before calling up Jyoti. She joined us 10 minutes later. He explained that he always takes this precaution to avoid being recognised by someone they both knew socially. Jyoti was a short and buxom lady with a radiant smile. Shweta and I liked her. That’s when Manoj dropped the bombshell. They were an attached couple.

 

Related reading: How to impress a girl on a date

Swinging and cheating

Both Manoj and Jyoti had separate, successful married lives of their own. Jyoti even had a daughter who was married with a child. They had been lovers first and later became swingers due to Jyoti’s high sexual drive. Jyoti’s husband was in the merchant navy and went away for long offshore duties regularly. That left them with ample time and opportunity to indulge in swinging.

Related reading: 5 mistakes couples make in a long distance relationship

Hearing this, Shweta and I exchanged looks. Suddenly, we felt uncomfortable. Sitting there with them, we felt as if unwittingly we too had become part of their cheating with their respective spouses.

I told Manoj in clear-cut terms that although we liked both of them, we were not comfortable swapping with attached couples. As expected, he couldn’t understand our reservations. It was with much difficulty that Shweta and I finally excused ourselves and left for home.

“We can’t be a part of this”

“How can someone not only cheat their spouse but also indulge in swinging without their knowledge and consent? I am shocked,” she said, as I started the car.

“Yes, it’s like a double whammy. Never thought such people existed in the world.”

“When I think about that poor unaware husband of Jyoti spending his lonely nights on sea while she is enjoying with her lovers here, my blood boils,” Shweta fumed.

“And what about Manoj? He seems to be an opportunist who is not only cheating on his wife but also using Jyoti to add to his sexual conquests,” I added.

“A real slimeball, if you ask me!”

“Can’t believe I forgot to ask them this, when I had decided that from now on we’ll make sure to meet only actual couples and not attached ones… and they hadn’t clarified either….”

Related reading: How to run away from a bad date

A lesson learned

Seeing her so agitated, I made a mental note to always clarify on chat if the couple we were meeting was married to each other or others. Every day of our journey into the world of swinging was showing us new facets of humans – sometimes pleasant and a few times unpleasant. And we were improvising as we went along on this journey, to avoid the unpleasant ones.

 

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