"Kei te whakakino taku manukanuka i taku whanaungatanga": 6 ngā huarahi e pā ai, me 5 ngā huarahi hei whakahaere

"Kāore rawa i tika kia kōrerotia e au tēnā ki taku hoa. Kei te whakahengia pea ahau e rātou mō tēnā, kāore? Kei te whakaaro ahau he aha ō rātou whakaaro mōku. Kāore e taea te waiho hei mea pai. Kāore au i te mōhio he aha te take i aroha ai tēnei tangata ki ahau i te tuatahi. Taria, e aroha ana rānei rātou ki ahau?" He rite tonu te ahua? Ko ngā whakaaro pēnei, ā tōna wā, ka arahi ki te mōhio, "Kei te whakangaro taku manukanuka i taku whanaungatanga."

Ko taua mōhiotanga, ahakoa he whakapuakitanga noa iho i hohoro te whakapuaki ki a koe anō nā te mea, āe, he whakaaro manukanuka, ko te tikanga he mea kei roto i tō whanaungatanga (i roto rānei i a koe) me aro atu koe. Ki te kite koe kei te raru koe i te manukanuka whanaungatanga, ko ngā "mehemea" katoa e puta ake ana i roto i tō mahunga ka tino manukanuka koe. Mā te āwhina a te tohunga hinengaro Shazia Saleem (Tohu Paerua i roto i te Hinengaro), he tohunga ki te kaiārahi mō te wehenga me te whakarere, me titiro tātou ki te pānga o te whakaaro nui ki tō oranga aroha, me te āwhina i a koe ki te ako me pēhea te kore e tukua te manukanuka kia whakakino i tō whanaungatanga.

He aha te manukanuka, ā, āhea ka tīmata ai te pā kino ki ngā whanaungatanga?

I mua i tā tātou kōrero mō te manukanuka i roto i ngā whanaungatanga me tōna pānga kino ki tō wairua, kia kotahi te whakaaro mō te mea he raruraru, ā, ina huri hei raruraru. Ko te mea tuatahi, he kare ā-roto noa te manukanuka e pāngia ana e te tangata i ētahi wā ina mataku, ina āwangawanga rānei mō tētahi putanga kāore i te tino mārama. Kei te mahara koe ki te kare ā-roto i pā ki a koe i te wā e tata ana tō māmā ki te kite i te hua o tō whakamātautau pāngarau? Kei te mahara koe ki te kare ā-roto i pā ki a koe i tō ngana ki te... takaro ki tō ipo?

He mea noa ngā whakaaro manukanuka i ēnei wā, ā, kāore he take e manukanuka ai. Heoi, ina tīmata koe ki te manukanuka, kāore he take e taea te tautuhi, e ōrite rānei, ina kite rānei koe i ngā tohu ā-tinana o te manukanuka ka kino haere i te roanga o te wā, ka puta mai ngā mate manukanuka.

Ko ēnei mate he āhua o te manukanuka nui, te manukanuka rānei, kāore e memeha, ā, ka kino haere pea i te roanga o te wā. He maha ngā wā kāore he pūtake, ā, ka puta pea he whakaaro kino ki te tangata, tae atu ki te mamae tinana. E ai ki te Institute o Mental Health Motu, tata ki te 19.1% o ngā pakeke i te Hononga o Amerika kua pāngia e tētahi momo mate manukanuka. Ko ētahi o ngā mate manukanuka tino noa kua whakamāramahia i raro nei:

• Te mate awangawanga whanui: Ko te GAD e pā ana ki te manukanuka me te mataku, kāore he take, he pūtake rānei e taea te tautuhi. Tērā pea ka pāngia te tangata e te manukanuka me te manukanuka mō ngā mahi me ngā huihuinga maha. Tērā pea kāore he mōrearea tūturu o te tūpono, o te whara rānei, engari tērā pea ka pāngia te tangata e te manukanuka nui rawa, he maha ngā wā nā te kore e taea te mutu te whakaaro i ngā āhuatanga kino rawa atu, me te whakararuraru i ngā āhuatanga noa.
• Maharahara hapori: Ko tēnei mate manukanuka he mataku i ngā āhuatanga pāpori. Ko te hunga e pāngia ana e te manukanuka pāpori, ka noho mārire pea rātou i te mea kei roto rātou i ngā wāhi pāpori, ā, ka pāngia pea rātou e ngā tohu tinana pēnei i te tere o te manawa, te korokoro maroke, te werawera rānei o ngā ringaringa. Ko te manukanuka pāpori te hua o ngā whakaaro kino e arahi ana i te tangata ki te tino whakahē i a rātou anō, e whakapono ana rātou he rite tonu te tirohanga a te katoa ki a rātou.
• Te manukanuka whanaungatangaKo te manukanuka i roto i ngā whanaungatanga ko te tangata e tino manukanuka ana mō tōna heke mai me ngā whakaaro o tōna hoa mō rātou. Ka pā pea tēnei ki te whanonga o te tangata i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, ki te taunekeneke rānei ki tōna hoa rangatira.
• Phobia: Ko te wehi nui ki tētahi āhuatanga, ki tētahi mea rānei, e ārahi ana i te tangata ki te whakanui rawa i te riri i roto i ō rātou hinengaro, ka hua ake ai te wehi nui me ngā tohu pēnei i te werawera, te tangi, te wiri, me te tere o te pakū o te manawa.

Hatia e whakamārama ana ahakoa te hunga kāore i te pāngia e te manukanuka i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, i ō rātou oranga whaiaro rānei, ka tūpono pea rātou ki te pāngia e te manukanuka e whakangaro ana i ngā whanaungatanga. "I ia wā ka whakaaro te tangata ki tētahi whanaungatanga, ko ngā wāhanga pai anake o taua whanaungatanga ka whakaarohia e rātou. Ko te ngā rā kawhe me ngā pō e kōrero ana. Ina koa kāore te tangata i roto i te whanaungatanga, kāore rātou e mōhio kei roto i tēnei reta tētahi atu "R", arā, ko te kawenga.

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"Ina kore te tangata e rite ki te aro atu ki ngā kawenga e pā ana ki tētahi whanaungatanga, tera pea ka pāngia rātou e ētahi whakaaro manukanuka, ahakoa kua pāngia rātou e tēnei i mua. Mō te mōhio ki tēnei, ka taea e koe te kī ko te mea e pā ana ki a koe ko te manukanuka whanaungatanga ina manukanuka tonu koe mō te heke mai kāore i te tino mārama o tō whanaungatanga, ina whakaaro tonu rānei koe ki ngā āhuatanga kino rawa atu i roto i tō mahunga."

"Ka uaua ki a koe te kimi huarahi hei pupuri i ngā mea kia ora tonu, nā te ruarua tonu kei roto koe. Ka pōhēhē koe, ka mauheretia, ā, ka tino pouri pea ahakoa kei roto koe i tētahi hononga aroha piripono." Haunga ngā tohu kua whakarārangihia e Shazia, me tūpato hoki koe ki ngā tohu e whai ake nei o te manukanuka hononga:

• Te āhua nei kei te "manawanui" noa tō hoa ki a koe, kei te pai ake rānei ki ētahi atu tāngata
• Te āwangawanga tonu kei te teka tō hoa
• He wehi ki ngā whanaungatanga me te ngana ki te karo katoa i a rātou
• Te whakawhanake i tētahi hononga kino ki a koe anō, me te whakaaro kei te whakaaro anō tō hoa ki a koe
• Te whakaaroaro nui ki ngā kaupapa kua puta, ngā kaupapa rānei ka puta ā muri ake nei
• Te āwangawanga tonu mō te tinihangatia

Ko te pono māmā noa iho, ka pakaru ngā whanaungatanga i te manukanuka, ā, ka taea e ngā whakaaro manukanuka te whara i ngā hononga hauora rawa atu. Me te maumahara ki tēnā, me pānui atu tātou mō ngā momo rerekē o te manukanuka — manukanuka wehenga, manukanuka pāpori, manukanuka whanaungatanga — ka pā ki te hononga i waenga i ngā hoa tokorua, me ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi hei whakahaere i taua raruraru.

Ka taea e te manukanuka te whakangaro i tētahi whanaungatanga? 6 ngā huarahi e pā kino ai

Mena kei te whakaaro koe, "Me aha ahau hei aukati i te manukanuka kei whakangaro i taku whanaungatanga?", kia mōhio koe ko te haerenga o te huringa ka tīmata i te mōhio ki a au anō. Nō reira, tuatahi, me aro tātou ki tētahi atu pātai nui: me pēhea te whakangaro i te whanaungatanga e te manukanuka? Ka whakamārama a Shazia, "Nā te manukanuka ka kore e taea e ngā hoa tokorua te noho haumaru tetahi ki tetahi. Ina he whakamataku tonu koe, he pōuri hoki, ā, e kapi ana i te manukanuka kei kore e harikoa tō hoa ki a koe, kei whakarērea rānei koe, me pēhea e taea ai e koe te hono atu ki a rātou?"

te te koretake o te whanaungatanga Ka taea e ngā whakaaro manukanuka te whakararu i te hononga i waenganui i te tokorua. Haunga tēnā, ina pōuri te tangata, ā, kāore e kōrero i ngā mea e pā ana ki tōna hinengaro, ka nui haere ngā pānga kino. Ko te mea nui, ko aua karanga puku katoa "Kei te whakangaro taku manukanuka i taku whanaungatanga!" he taumaha. Anei te take:

1. Ka pakaru ngā whanaungatanga i te manukanuka ina piri rawa te tangata

"I te tīmatanga o taku manukanuka mō taku whanaungatanga ki taku hoa tāne, ka tino piripono ahau, ka whakawhirinaki hoki ki a ia, i a au e whakawhirinaki ana ki a ia mō tōku harikoa. I te nui rawa o te mamae mōna, ka tīmata ia ki te mahi kino ki ahau, ā, ka kaha ake taku piri ki a ia. Kua pā kino tēnei ki tō māua whanaungatanga. Ka kite mārama ahau i te kino o te pānga o taku manukanuka ki taku whanaungatanga, engari kāore au i te mōhio me pēhea te kōrero atu ki a ia," te kī a Josephine, he kaipānui pukapuka 23-tau te pakeke nō Boston.

Ina tīmata koe ki te whai whakaaro kino mō tō whanaungatanga, ā, kāore e taea te aukati i aua whakaaro, ā tōna wā, ko tō hoa rangatira te kawenga mō taua mea. Ko te whanonga piri ā, mā te hiahia tonu ki te whakamanawa i a koe anō, ka hiahia pea tō hoa ki te wehe atu i a koe anō, nā te mea ka nui rawa te taumaha o te whanaungatanga mōu.

2. Ka tīmata te manukanuka ki te whakangaro i ngā whanaungatanga nā te mea ka memeha te whakawhirinaki

"Ina kore e taea e te tangata te whakawhirinaki ki a ia anō nā ō rātou whakaaro manukanuka me te kino mō rātou anō, me pēhea e taea ai e koe te tumanako kia whakawhirinaki rātou ki tā rātou hoa?" E kōrero ana a Shazia mō te pānga o te manukanuka i roto i ngā whanaungatanga ki ngā take whakawhirinaki, "Ka heke rātou i te porowhita o te ruarua i a rātou anō, ka whakaaro rātou ki ngā mea pēnei i te, "Ka taea e au te whakatutuki i ngā hiahia o taku hoa? Kei te whara ahau i ngā kare ā-roto o taku hoa?" Ko ēnei pātai me te ruarua ka waiho i te whanaungatanga ki tonu i ngā take nui," tāna tāpiri.

Tērā pea ka tīmata te hoa manukanuka ki te whakaaro kei tinihangatia ia, ā, ka mahi i roto i te āhua tiaki nui, whakahaere nui rānei. Tērā pea ka pātai tonu rātou mēnā kei te tekahia rātou, ā, ka kore e murua ngā hapa iti, me te whakaaro he mahi āta whakaarohia hei whara i a rātou. Ā, ka waiho pea te hoa kē atu kia raru i te kare ā-roto e ngau kino ana, "Kei te whakangaro te manukanuka o taku hoa tāne/taku hoa wahine i tā māua whanaungatanga."

Nō reira, ka taea e te manukanuka te whakangaro i tētahi whanaungatanga? I te mea ka taea e ia te whakangaro i tētahi o ngā teneti matua mō tētahi hononga hauora, e mārama ana te kino ka taea e te manukanuka te whakaputa.

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3. Ka taea e ngā take whakaaro nui ki a koe anō te whakararu i ngā whanaungatanga aroha

I te taha o ngā whakaaro manukanuka, ka puta mai he tirohanga tino hoha mō te tangata anō me ngā take whakaaro nui ki a ia anō, ka tukuna pea ēnei ki runga i te hoa. Tākuta Aman Bhonsle i kōrero i mua ki a Bonobology mō te take o tēnā. E mea ana ia, "Ko te āhua o tō taunekeneke ki ētahi atu tāngata he whakaata i te āhua o tō taunekeneke ki a koe anō. Ka uru mai pea tēnei ki tētahi ara, ki tētahi ara rānei. Hei tauira, ki te kore koe e whai whakaaro nui ki a koe anō, tera pea ka whakaaro koe ka pērā anō ngā whakaaro o ō hoa aroha ki a koe."

He tino hoha te whakaipoipo i tētahi e pāngia ana e te manukanuka nā te mea he maha ngā raruraru ka puta mai i ēnei momo raruraru i roto i ngā whanaungatanga aroha. Hei tīmatanga, tera pea ka manawanui ake te tangata ki te tukino nā te mea kāore ia e hiahia ki te tū mōna ake. Tērā pea ka whakaae ia ki ngā mea iti iho i roto i te whanaungatanga nā te mea kāore ia e whakaaro he tika ia kia arohaina. Mā te iti o te whakaaro ki a ia anō ka ārahi pea te tangata ki te huna i ōna kare ā-roto, me te whakaaro kāore tana hoa e hiahia ki te whakarongo. Nā tēnei, ka arahi pea ki te te mauahara i roto i te whanaungatangaNō reira, he mea nui te ngana ki te rapu huarahi hei whakamutu i te manukanuka.

4. Mā te whakaaro nui ki ngā āhuatanga iti katoa ka pā kino ki a koe

E whakapuaki ana a Kyle, he kaipānui pukapuka 25-tau te pakeke nō Milwaukee, i tana kōrero, "Kei te whakangaro te manukanuka o taku hoa wahine i tō māua whanaungatanga, ā, kua waiho ahau kia raru i ngā raruraru manukanuka. Kua pāngia māua e ētahi pakanga kino, ā, i roto i aua pakanga kāore i taea e ia te whakahaere i ana tauhohenga kare ā-roto. Ināianei, i ia wā ka rongo ahau kei te pōuri ia, kāore rānei e taea e ia te whakamarie i a ia anō, ka wehi ahau kei kino rawa atu, ā, kāore e taea te mutu te whakaaro nui ki ngā mea ka hē."

"I ngā wā katoa ka puta he tautohetohe iti, he whakahē rānei māua, ko te mea anake e whakaarohia ana e au ko tōna riri nui ki ahau, me tana kī kāore e pai te haere o te raruraru i waenganui i a māua. Nā tēnei kua ara ake ai ōku whakaaro manukanuka mōku anō, mō tōku ao, me tō māua whanaungatanga. He tino hoha te whakaipoipo i tētahi e pāngia ana e te manukanuka."

Ka taea e ngā tautohetohe katoa, ngā kōrero katoa, me ngā āhuatanga koretake katoa te whakararuraru i te hinengaro o te tangata manukanuka. Ahakoa ka huri noa ngā kanohi o tō rātou hoa ki a rātou, tera pea ka whakaaro rātou kua mahi kino rātou, ā, kua whakapataritari i tō rātou hoa. Tāpiri atu ki tēnā, tera pea ka mangere rātou ki te kōrero mō taua mea, e arai ana ki te kore korero me te mauahara i roto i te whanaungatanga, ka taea e te manukanuka te whakararuraru nui i te hononga o te tokorua.

5. Mā te manukanuka i roto i ngā whanaungatanga ka whakaaro te tangata he ngoikore rawa tō rātou whanaungatanga

"Ina kei roto te tangata i te āhua manukanuka, i te mate hinengaro rānei, ka mahi rātou mai i te aratau tiaki, ā, ka tīmata pea te whakaaro ko tā rātou hoa he hoariri nā te mea e whakaaro ana rātou he whakaaro kino tā rātou hoa ki a rātou. Ko te tikanga ka pērā te āhua o te ruarua i a ia anō ki te tangata."

"Nā te mea kāore e taea e rātou te whakatutuki i ngā tumanakohanga a te tangata kē, i te iti rawa rānei ka kī atu rātou ki a rātou anō kāore e taea. Ka tīmata anō rātou ki te whakamarie i a rātou anō mā te whakaahua i tā rātou hoa hei tangata kino, me te kī atu ki a rātou anō kei te puritia rātou nā tā rātou hoa," te kī a Shazia. Ahakoa he manukanuka wehenga i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, he manukanuka whānui mō te whanaungatanga, he momo mate rānei, ina tīmata koe ki te whakaaro ki tō hoa hei hoariri, "Kei te whakangaro taku manukanuka i taku whanaungatanga" he āwangawanga tika.

6. Tērā pea ka tīmata koe ki te karo i tō hoa

Ahakoa te mea ka piripono ētahi tāngata i te manukanuka, ka noho tawhiti pea ētahi, ka tīmata te karo i ō rātou hoa. I kitea i roto i tētahi rangahau he iti ake te tūponotanga o te hunga whai mate manukanuka pāpori ki te rapu tautoko mai i ō rātou hoa aroha, koia pea ka whiriwhiria e rātou te kore aro ki a rātou. I roto anō i taua rangahau, i kīia ko te iti o te tautoko me ngā tohu kino o te manukanuka ka piki ake te tūponotanga o te te wehenga o te tokorua.

"I ngā wā katoa ka pōuri ahau, ka manukanuka rānei, ka noho motuhake ahau, ka ngana ki te noho i tēnei wā tonu kia noho haumaru ai. Kia taea ai e au tēnā, me mutu taku kōrero ki taku hoa. Ka roa pea tēnei wāhanga mō ngā rā," te whakamārama a Kelsey, he kaipānui nō Texas, kua pāngia ōna whanaungatanga piripono nā ōna raruraru manukanuka.

Nō reira, ka taea e te manukanuka te whakangaro i tētahi whanaungatanga? Mai i tāu i pānui ai tae noa mai ki tēnei wā, me mārama rawa atu ka taea e ō raruraru manukanuka te whara i ngā kare ā-roto o tō hoa, me te pā kino hoki ki ō whanaungatanga aroha. Ka taea e te ahotea tonu te aukati i a koe kia noho haumaru, ā, ka meinga pea koe kia whanonga whaiaro.

I mua i tō haere tonu atu, kia maumahara ko te aro nui ki te pehea e mutu ai te manukanuka ka waiho hei mea whakarihariha, nā te mea ka noho tonu te manukanuka ki a koe. Kia mahara ki tā mātou i kī ai he kare ā-roto noa iho tēnei? Me whakarerekē pea i tō whakaaro, me pātai atu pea ki a koe anō me pehea e mutu ai te whakaaro nui i roto i te whanaungatanga, me te whakakore i te hiahia ki te whakaaro tonu i ngā āhuatanga kino rawa atu.

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"Ko te huarahi pai rawa atu hei ārai i te manukanuka te whakangaro i tētahi whanaungatanga "Ko te mea nui kia rite te hinengaro i mua i te urunga ki te whanaungatanga. Me taea e koe te kī atu ki a koe anō he nui te kawenga e pā ana ki tāu e uru atu nei, ā, ki te kore e hono ō mahi ki ō kupu ka pā kino ki ō whanaungatanga aroha me tō hauora hinengaro," te kī a Shazia.

E whai ana te tohutohu a Shazia i te whakataukī, "He pai ake te ārai i te rongoā". Hei pupuri i tō taumata manukanuka me te pārekareka ki te whānuitanga katoa o tēnei hononga piripono e tohaina ana e koe ki tētahi atu tangata, me noho koe i roto i te wāhi pumau o tō hinengaro ki a koe anō. Kia oti i a koe te whakatau i ngā raruraru manukanuka kei a koe, ā, kua rite koe ki te tango i te kawenga e pā ana ki tētahi whanaungatanga, ka taea te whakapai ake i ngā mea.

Heoi, ki te mea kei roto koe i te manukanuka whanaungatanga, ā, kei te ngoikore tō hononga ki tō hoa rangatira nā te mea, kei reira tonu ētahi mea ka taea e koe te mahi. Me titiro tātou ki ētahi tohutohu a ngā tohunga mō te kore e tukua te manukanuka kia whakakino i tō whanaungatanga:

1. Rapua he awhina ngaio

Ina raru koe i ngā whakaaro pēnei i te, "Kei te pakaru taku whanaungatanga i taku manukanuka", kua mōhio kē koe he aha te raruraru, engari tera pea ka whakaroa koe ki te tiki i te āwhina e tika ana hei whakatau i taua raruraru. Ka hikoi haere koe me te waewae whati nā te mea he tohu ngoikore te whakapiri i te kāpia, nā te mea rānei kei te whakaaro koe mēnā ka wareware noa koe i a ia mō tētahi wā roa, ka ora ake? Waihoki, kaua e waiho noa ngā mate manukanuka kia kore e tirotirohia.

"Ko te mea pai rawa atu ka taea e te tokorua te mahi ina pāngia rāua e te manukanuka whanaungatanga ko te rapu awhina ngaio." Ka tohutohu nga tokorua "Ā, mā te tohutohu takitahi koe e āwhina ki te kimi i te pūtake o tēnei manukanuka," te kī a Shazia. Ahakoa e kore e taea e koe te mutu rawa te manukanuka, mā te rapu āwhina koe e tata atu ki te kimi me pēhea te kore e tukua te manukanuka kia whakangaro i tō whanaungatanga.

Ka kitea e koe he huarahi pai ake, he huarahi whai hua ake hoki hei whakatau i tēnei mea, hei whakawhitiwhiti kōrero hoki mōna. Ki te mea kei te ngana koe ki te whakaaro me pēhea te whakamutu i te whakaaro nui rawa i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, Te rōpū kaiwhakaora hinengaro o Bonobology ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakahaere i ō whakaaro manukanuka me te whakawhanake i tētahi hononga haumaru ake.

Ngā Mea e Pā Ana: Te Whakaipoipo i tētahi e pāngia ana e te manukanuka – Ngā Tohutohu Āwhina, Ngā Mea e Me Mahi, Ngā Mea Kaua e Mahi

2. Korero ki to hoa mo taua mea

Mō te whakahaere i te manukanuka i roto i te whanaungatanga, ko tētahi o ngā mea tino nui ka taea e koe te mahi ko te kōrero whai hua ki tō hoa. Nā te mea, kāore koe e hiahia kia whakaaro rātou, "Kei te whakangaro te manukanuka o taku hoa tāne/taku hoa wahine i tā māua whanaungatanga". He tino moemoeā kino tēnā māu. "Ki te whakaae te tangata kei te raru rātou i tētahi momo manukanuka kāore e taea e rātou te whakahaere, he mea āwhina te kōrero atu ki tā rātou hoa. Ki te mea he kaha te kaha o te hinengaro o tā rātou hoa, ā, ka taea e rātou te āwhina, ka āwhina noa iho tēnei ki te whakatata atu i a rātou.

"Heoi, ko te nuinga o te iwi ka huna i ō rātou mate manukanuka, ka ngana ki te whakatau i aua mate mā te whakamahi i ngā tikanga ārai kino. Nā te mea ka ngaro tō rātou whakawhirinaki ki a rātou anō, ka ngaro hoki tō rātou mana ki a rātou anō. Ina maia te tangata ki te kōrero ki tōna hoa mō te mea e tupu ana, ka akiakihia e rātou te pono me te te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera, "Me whakamārama ki tā rātou hoa he aha rātou i whanonga ai i ētahi wā me te hiahia whaiaro, ā, tera pea ka whiwhi rātou i te āwhina e tino hiahiatia ana," te kī a Shazia.

3. Kaua e waiho tō hoa hei kaiwhakaora hinengaro māu, kaua hoki e waiho tō hoa hei kaiwhakaora hinengaro māu

He aha te pānga o te manukanuka ki tō whanaungatanga? Hei tīmatanga, ka tīmata pea tō hoa ki te whakaaro he kawenga tā rātou ki te āwhina i a koe me te whakapai ake i a koe. Koia te take, ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe, "Me pēhea taku aukati i te manukanuka kei whakangaro i taku whanaungatanga?", he mea nui kia mahara ko te whāinga o te kōrero mō tō hauora hinengaro kia whakapai ake i tō whanaungatanga, kaua e whakararu i tō hoa ki tō manukanuka.

A, no te koe puranga whara, ā tōna wā ka hoha rātou ki ō raruraru. Kāore koe e hiahia kia mutu tā rātou whakaaro he tino hoha te whakaipoipo i tētahi e manukanuka ana, e mea ana rānei, "Ka nui ake te manukanuka o taku hoa", koia koe? Tuhia ō kare ā-roto me ō āwangawanga engari kia tino whakarongo hoki ki ngā tirohanga a tō hoa, me te whai whakaaro ki ō rātou hiahia.

4. Kia mōhio koe he nui atu koe i tō manukanuka

Ahakoa mā te kōrero ki tō hoa rangatira me te rapu āwhina ngaio koe e āwhina ki te whakahaere i te manukanuka, me āwhina anō hoki koe i a koe anō. Mō tēnā, me mōhio koe, me whakapono hoki kei tua atu koe i tō manukanuka, i ō wheako o mua, i tō ruarua tonu i a koe anō, me tō ahotea. Whakaharatau aroha-whaiaro, kimihia he huarahi hei whakatau i tō taumata ahotea, ā, kia mārama ko te tangata anō i pāngia e te manukanuka ka taea te whakaiti i taua ahotea: ko koe.

Ahakoa te āhua nei kei te noho tonu ō whakaeke manukanuka, he rite tonu ki tētahi maunga pumau i roto i tō ao, me mahi koe i ia taahiraa i ia taahiraa. E kore koe e tae ki te tihi mā te whakatata atu mā te aro tonu ki te huarahi e kore ai e tukua te manukanuka kia whakangaro i tō whanaungatanga. Engari, me mahi ki te whakahaere i ō tohumate takitahi, kia tae rā anō koe ki te pūtake o te mea i ārahi i a koe ki reira i te tuatahi. He tau whakaora tēnā kua whakaritea māu.

5. Kaua e tukua ō wehi kia pau i a koe

Tuatahi, kati te rapu whakamarie tonu nā te mea kei te manukanuka koe, ā, kua whakapono koe kei te kino tō hoa ki a koe. Akohia te whakawhirinaki ki ngā kōrero a tō hoa. Muri iho, akohia te whakahaere i ō kare ā-roto, me te kimi i ngā tikanga hauora hei whakatau i ō whakaaro manukanuka. I mua i te kōrero ki tō hoa mō ngā mea e pā ana ki a koe, kia mārama koe ehara i te mea ko rātou te kawenga mō te whakahoki i a koe i ia wāhanga, ā, kāore i te tika ki a rātou kia tumanako koe ki tēnā.

Ina pāngia koe e te ahotea nui, ina kore e mutu te puta ake o ngā whakaaro "mehemea rānei", ina meinga koe e te manukanuka kia pātai i ngā mea katoa mōu me tō whanaungatanga, ako ki te noho tahi me rātou, me te whakahaere i aua whakaaro. I te mutunga, ko koe anake te tangata e tino mōhio ana ki tō āhuatanga.

Kāore e taea te kī mai i te "Kei te whakangaro taku manukanuka i taku whanaungatanga," ki te "E mōhio ana ahau me pēhea te whakamutu rawa i te manukanuka". Ka noho tonu koe i roto i tō hinengaro i ētahi whakaaro manukanuka whakangaro i a koe anō, ko te mea pai rawa atu ka taea e koe ko te whakahaere i aua whakaaro. Heoi, me te wā, me te whakapau kaha tonu, me te whanaungatanga hauora, ka tae koe ki tētahi wāhi ka pakaru tō manukanuka i hangaia mō tō whanaungatanga, ā, e kore e pau tō rā. Kāore e roa, ka taea e koe te kī, "Kei te aroha ahau ki a koe hoki," kaua ki te kī, "E hoa, e tino aroha ana koe ki ahau, tika?"

12 Ngā Huarahi Hei Whakatutuki i te Manukanuka o te Whakaipoipo

Te Whakatau i te Hoa Tāne e Whakawhiu Manukanuka Ana – 8 Ngā Tohutohu Āwhina

He aha te manukanuka o ngā whanaungatanga hou? 8 ngā tohu me ngā huarahi e 5 hei whakatau i tēnei mea

Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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