My mind was my own living hell after cheating on my wife

(As told to Shahnaaz Khan)

There’s no such thing as a happily married couple. Yes, I said it. If you’re married, deep down you know it too. Either you admit it and realise that what the world sees as a happy marriage is an everyday struggle to understand, compromise, allow, and forgive. Or you don’t admit it.

I too was like you. I thought I was living the happily-ever-after. So what if after 4 years of marriage, my wife and I had spent barely over a year together. My work in the merchant navy takes me to various corners of the world, as does her job as a documentary film producer. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, and our long distance marriage did keep the flame burning. We were happy to still be able to steal moments, yearn for each other and avoid the mundane everydayness of marriage. We were both thrill seekers, after all, so this arrangement worked just fine.

The affair made me feel cheated, used and helpless

I didn’t want to be his dirty little secret

My husband had an affair, but it’s me who can’t forget