(As told to Debashish Majumdar)
Right from my very childhood, my parents meant everything to me. Especially my mother. She chose my friends, decided on my eating habits and decided on my extracurricular activities. I never found it necessary to challenge my mother’s decisions in life.
When I chose a career, my mother told me that I should become a doctor. I could take care of my ageing parents at some time of their lives. I stuck by my mother’s decision and became an ophthalmologist. Finally, when it came to choosing a wife, my mother accompanied me to the girl’s house. She was a highly qualified child specialist. I was excited, as I was sure that when we went for kids, she’d make a great mother. Again, it was my mother’s choice. She had chosen the woman of my life.
Related reading: My mother-in-law rejected me, but that’s not my loss
Mother came with us on the honeymoon
After we got married, my mother insisted that she’d like to accompany us for my honeymoon. I was scared to offend my mother, so I told my wife that I think it’ll be a great idea to take Mother along. My wife seemed very upset. Yet she never protested. On our honeymoon night, Mother said that she’d like to share our bedroom.
On our honeymoon night, Mother said that she’d like to share our bedroom.
She would like to chat with us the whole night. We’ll have lots of time for romance in our lives later on. Although I found this ridiculous, I did not take another room for my mother. She showed great affection towards me and there was cold indifference towards my wife. I told my wife that I never do things my way. It’s always Mother who decides and takes decisions about my life.
Two months later, my wife told me that she was appointed for a job by a UK-based hospital. I should also accompany her, as she could manage a start for me. For the first time, I felt scared to be away from my parents. My wife was still an unknown quantity and I decided to consult my mother. She strongly told me that if my wife so wishes, let her go to the UK to pursue a career. I should be in India and that too live in my parents’ house. I tried to pursue my wife to build her career in this country. She was hell-bent to move away. Possibly she found that my mother was very overbearing. My wife asked me to choose between my mother and her. I told her it was my mother who was more important to me in my life.
I always go home like a good boy
My mother not only gave birth to me, she was the one who had shaped my life and career. Her words will be taken as final. Besides, I grew up to be an introvert. I never connected with my school or medical friends on social media or even on the telephone. For me, it was my work and back home to my family. My mother insisted that after I return home every evening, I should spend time with her and dad till midnight. I can’t share any private moment with my wife. If I have to speak to her, I have to discuss in my mother’s presence.
Related reading: When her mother’s interference became too much for me
My wife felt stifled. She told me that she desired to take a holiday break with me before she went abroad. I told her that my career was more important to me and I was happy coming home to my parents every night. The major mistake that I’d made was that I had taken my marriage for granted. My wife did not want my child. She told me that she’d have no say in bringing up the kid in the presence of my parents. My mother insisted that I have a child. The baby will be brought up by her, as my wife was too busy with her career.
Marriage left my life unchanged
I never thought of the future. My parents were growing old. Finally, it was my wife and our family that was going to matter most. I told my mother, my wife wasn’t willing to have a kid. My mother was furious and insisted that I divorce her if she decides to settle down overseas. The world ‘divorce’ always scares me. I could never draw up the courage to tell my wife that.
Nowadays, my wife and I are separated. She has built up an envious career in the UK.
I continue to practice and return to my mother’s home every night. On Sundays, I take out my mother to lunch and movies. Marriage has not affected me or shifted my life’s curve one bit….
With my roaring income, Mother requested me to buy an expensive car and expand their home. I have done both. I also buy my mum expensive jewellery out of gratitude.
My mother continues to be my best friend….