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Mothering and teaching

hands & hearts

It is difficult to point out one single trait that I love about my husband, for, it is really a package, still, overall, I would say his caring instincts make him both a mother and a teacher, a package I would never like to change.

When we went to our honeymoon ages ago, I contracted high fever and became groggy, extremely unkempt and could not even have a decent bath, let alone dress decently.

I did not even know what was happening around me, doctors came, friends came and all along my husband held me tight and put me to sleep almost like a little child.

This has always been the pattern in our lives. My husband quietly takes care of me, almost mothering me.

A few years back, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and have now recovered remarkably through alternate therapies.

Still, I feel, apart from the therapies, I have recovered through his love and support.

He was a pillar of strength and support and knew I would overcome this so called dreaded ailment. So much so, the children never knew something drastic was diagnosed. They continued leading their lives as per their normal routines and so did I. This was not denial but acceptance of the situation as just a challenge.

He taught me to,

Have dreams and live life completely.

Dreaming and having goals makes a life complete. He would say, dreams can be as simple as cooking a gourmet meal or listening to a music maestro personally to serving mankind, but dreams are necessary for all of us. He said we should also do as much as we can in all areas. These could be reading books, watching movies, watching sunrise and nature, doing social service or even just talking to one’s loved ones. In fact, if there is nothing that we know of, then cultivate interests.

Contribute something.

He inspired me to continue all that I could by adding value to the family, organization and indeed the world. This makes me feel really valuable. In fact, I have achieved more, written more books, travelled a lot  trying to contribute.

Get experience

He asked me to value each and every experience that I had gained in the journey of my recovery.

Though I did write for a magazine that writes on positivity and wellness, I became even better at understanding this when I started putting this to practice.

Value bonds

He taught me to value all my bonds and he told me to never ignore anyone, however big or small they may be right now in the eyes of the society and people.

He asked me to think of all our friends including childhood friends, relatives, people in our neighbourhood and / or workplace.

Together, we realised how in the modern world, everyone is just too busy but all connected. In the process, we lose touch with people who really care for us.

He motivated me to get my priorities right.

He told me to make my priority, to always try and be of some use to others. This I definitely did not wish to compromise on. The other fancy things like going to various destinations and indulging in gourmet food was something that could be put on a backburner.

Have fun

He told me to never underestimate the importance of fun. Hence, we resolved to go out more, especially with the children as this is something we always liked.

Communicate effectively

It’s not what you say, but how you say it that matters.

He taught me to learn effective communication as completely as possible.

Two people say the same thing, but they say it in different ways: ‘I don’t know’ is different from, ‘I don’t have much information but I shall find out’. Hence, in the area of writing, I resolved NOT to stick to only routine subjects but did resolve to go that extra step to learn more and ask for help when required.

To conclude, it is so beautiful being mothered and taught by my husband that I would never change this about him. Whatever the situation, I know now, more than ever before that I am being cared for all the time and this is what true love is all about. Quietly I learnt from him that richness in love and care in action is the greatest blessing that one can get from marriage.

Hence, the one thing I would never change about my husband is his mothering and teaching instincts as they both truly come together. They not only have taken care of me completely with all the love but have also helped me grow as a human being.

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