Pay attention to what your woman says
The biggest problem in a woman’s life in the society is patriarchy and the second biggest problem is men. Things we tell them never really get communicated. They never really seem to understand what we are trying to say. Sometimes it feels like they are not even listening.
I’m not saying that what we say to men is easy to understand or easy to respond to. After ages of not getting the proper response, these conventions have been convoluted and tangled. Here is a quick reference for things we say and in some cases, I may also tell you how men should respond.
Related reading: 10 top lies that men tell their women all the time
How do I look?
It’s one of the most difficult questions: you can’t ignore it and there are no right answers. If you stare too long, it’s a problem; if you answer too quickly, then it’s a problem too. I can tell you a solution but I don’t think you will be able to do it. Whenever I ask this question, he really looks at me, appreciates a few things and makes informed suggestions about a few minor points. But can you spare the time?
You didn’t even look
This usually follows the previous one. When you hear this, then you know that you have failed to answer the previous question correctly. She is not yet angry with you. On the contrary, she’s giving you time to make amends. Grab the chance or suffer later.
That definitely means she’s not. But asking her, “What’s wrong?” repeatedly like a broken record isn’t going to improve things. Sit there quietly for a few minutes; make her a cup of coffee if you can. When she realises that you seriously want to know what’s wrong, she’ll open up herself.
Related reading: When I find my husband irresistible – 5 women confess
Leave me alone
That’s a tricky one. Sometimes it means “Hold me tight”; at other times it means “Don’t show me your face for the next hour”. You can soften your voice and ask her, “Do you really want me to leave?” If she doesn’t answer that, then you better hang around. But if she shouts at you, you need to immediately evacuate the premises for at least an hour for things to cool down.
Are you sleeping?
This usually means she wants to have sex or at least a cuddle. But if you are not that lucky, it may also mean that she has something on her mind and she wants to discuss it now. It would usually be about some changes that she wants to make and the conversation can work its way through the night. So be careful when you respond to that.
Are you busy?
Unlike the previous one, this definitely means something is on her mind and she wants to discuss it now. If you really don’t have time for it, then convince her to get a rain cheque on the conversation. But you better be honest. If she catches you engaging in some entertainment after avoiding talking to her, you are in for a lot of trouble.
When will you fix that?
Guys, listen, when you hear this, you should know that it is not about the toaster or the thermostat that you promised to fix. It means she had a bad day and everything around her is making her angry. But circumstances are out of her control and she feels overwhelmed. She then comes back home for some comfort and the things that you promised you would do just add to the pile of her frustrations. So don’t be cocky, just apologise and offer to make her a cup of tea. Tell her to put her feet up and relax and ask her what you can do to help. Do this if you want to avoid a meaningless fight.
Related reading: 7 home chores every wife wishes her husband would take care of
You do what you think is right
This is an easy one. Some of you guys already know the answer to it: you definitely don’t do what you think is right, because you are wrong. You are asking to do something so obviously wrong and stupid that she can’t even grace it with an explanation. She’s still just amused and not angry about it. She wants you to make the right choice.
The meaning of this is simple. She has made up her mind. She has solved the problem and doesn’t require your help. Moreover, you are not even included in the kind of solution she thought of. This doesn’t mean you are off the hook. She might do something that will catch you off guard and can even be something that directly affects you. Don’t let her reach that stage.
We need to talk
Boy! Are you in trouble or are you in trouble. It can be something small as leaving the toilet seat up or something life changing like a breakup. Depends on you which you land up with.