9 must-do things before you embark on having sex

Sex without foreplay can spoil your bedroom experience

A close friend once said that she knew her husband wanted sex when he started brushing his teeth, so she would pretend that she was already asleep. Sex without adequate foreplay can be boring and tedious. And intimidating!

Some Catholic institutions insist on counselling for couples before the wedding takes place, but they too do not touch upon the nitty-gritty of foreplay. Parents believe that their children will follow their own learning curve. However, a lot of students, especially those intent on marriage, have reached out and asked if I could share some tips on how to make love. Of course, there is passion and the heat of the moment sex; these rarely satisfy the woman. Men have a very clear-cut, straightforward approach to sex, and thereby achieve their need for love. You can see this even in cats – the male tomcat watches stolidly from a short distance, while the female embarks upon an elaborate dance sequence on the lines of an item number like “piya tuuuu ab to aajjaaa”.

Here are some fine points to remember while wooing your woman. I have a disclaimer here, that there are those with cave-women instincts who like to be dragged by the hair into the lair! For others, here are some finer aspects of foreplay:

1. When rough is not OK

As a new bride, my cousin was expecting sweet nothings and tenderness; instead her husband harshly told her to spread her legs and what followed scarred her for life. Remember, your woman is a goddess; treat with respect and kindness.

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