My boyfriend is jealous and calls me 50 times in a day. We both are in college and we have been dating for the last six months. When he was wooing me he was this very sweet guy who was always there for me. But he changed drastically when I said “yes”.
My Boyfriend Is Jealous And Controlling
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When my boyfriend started calling me a number of times in a day I used to find it really cute. But then he would call me and ask me if I was sitting next to a male classmate. It even happened that right in the middle of class he made me change my seat. I had to cook up weird excuses and asked my teacher if I could sit elsewhere.
Related Reading: Is Your Jealous Boyfriend Being Possessive And Controlling?
Why is my boyfriend so jealous?
My boyfriend is always jealous and insecure and he continuously wants to know what I am doing on the phone – Talking to anyone? Who do I chat with on WhatsApp? Who do I FaceTime with? His insecurity and anger is increasing every passing day.
Is this abuse?
Most of the things I do he doesn’t like. He wants me to keep him informed about my every breathing minute. If I do not do that he breaks stuff because he is very, very angry. I am aware that my boyfriend is jealous and insecure but is what he is doing also termed as abuse?
What should I do about it?
Dear Girl,
Your query indicates a dilemma and uncertainty. I understand it isn’t easy to take important decisions but here’s something to ponder about.
Your boyfriend is jealous
If you are sure it’s jealousy, then it’s a red flag when it comes to relationships. Jealous partners tend to cause a lot of mental unrest.
He is extremely insecure
This is insecure behaviour at its peak. Have you done something for him to lose trust? If not then it may be his nature which isn’t healthy. Constant calling and checking is distressing and stressful.
Related Reading: 10 things never to say in anger
Is it curiosity or suspicion?
It’s one thing to be curious and quite another to be suspicious. If he’s looking into your activities in real life and on your phone too, he’s insecure and maybe suspicious too. Can you deal with such a jealous boyfriend?
Have a candid chat with him
Talk to him gently and find out what is his trigger to behave this way? Childhood trauma or is it something you’ve been doing unknowingly? If he’s willing to discuss amicably, nothing like it, but if not then it’s best to reconsider and think things through practically.
Anger issues seem to be prevalent
Breaking things can be a sign of extreme anger. Tomorrow it could be physical assaults too. Please be careful. You need to observe him thoroughly to understand his mindset and behaviour patterns.
How much sharing is okay?
It’s okay to share your daily schedule and activity details. Why do you feel uncomfortable to do so? Is it fear of being followed? Clearly, the connection is not healthy.
Ultimately, you are the best judge of your situation. If it’s peace and happiness that you want, it’s best to take a practical approach and take a call.
All the best.
Kavita Panyam
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