Q: I always feel upset with my boyfriend. He is not spending time with me. It seems as though he’s lost interest in me. But I am very sure there is no space for another girl in his life. Maybe he’s bored with the usual conversations? But I can’t handle it. I start crying when he ignores me. Please help me overcome this.
A: It is a very hard situation to deal with when you feel ignored by your lover. One of the many rational ways to deal with this is to communicate your feelings to him, without exaggerating or blaming him entirely for your perception. For example, using sentences like, “I feel pain when I think that you don’t seem interested in me anymore. Is there something that has happened which you think we need to talk about?” are more likely to be effective as opposed to the ones that put the entire blame on the partner, like “You are not treating me well, you are only concerned about yourself.”?The curious thing about ‘blame’ is that despite how accurately we think it lies with others, it may not help using it as our only tactic. It harms us as well, when used as the only way to deal with crisis; it takes our focus away from things we can do to gain control of the situation in the ways that we possibly can. Open and assertive communication is the way to go.