Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years now. Suddenly he seems to be losing interest. He says he wants to break up. I’ve done everything I’m not supposed to, like begging him to stay and telling him I can’t live without him and that I love him a lot. I’ve also tried no contact, but he texts on day 2 and I can’t not reply to him. He does want to talk and spend time (sometimes) but other times he just doesn’t want to see me. We fight a lot. (I guess I start fights most of the time.) Every time we text, we’re fighting. He stopped caring about my feelings anymore – he’s not bothered when I cry. He just leaves me there to cry. He isn’t as sweet as he used to be. Basically, he wants to talk sometimes and doesn’t want to at other times. It’s been about a month since this has been happening. He says he lost trust in me and when I ask “Will we be together forever?”, he says he doesn’t know. (He used to say forever and always before.) I feel terrible right now, I’ve no idea what to do. He still says he loves me but at times he says “I don’t know if I love you” He doesn’t talk much to me. I have to do most of the talking. But he answers my texts as soon as he sees them. I can’t understand his mood swings. He’s angry at times and says he doesn’t want me. And at other times, he says he loves me more than anything. I ask him to talk (through texts) to fix whatever is wrong in our relationship, but he doesn’t want to. All he says is he doesn’t know. I’ve asked him if he really loves me, which makes him angry. Could you please suggest anything I could do, anything other than the no contact, to get him back?
A: It seems relatively clear from your description that your relationship is going through a rough patch. Initiation of relationships is easy; it’s the maintenance that requires consistent efforts from both sides. If something is requiring you