My boyfriend threatens me, wants sex all the time

Girl in forest, looking away


Dear Madam,

I went through a mis-arranged marriage which eventually led to divorce. Currently, I am in a relationship with my boyfriend. He was very supportive earlier, but now he is just threatening me all the time. He wants sex all the time. To which I disagree, then he becomes so mad that he tells me to go back to my parents. Please give me advice. How to overcome this situation?

Related reading: The grim truth of marital rape in India

Avani Tiwari says:

Dear young lady,

I need to ask you a few questions before I begin to answer your query. Has your sexual frequency always been like this or is this a new development? Have you witnessed a change from the previous situation? Also, think back, as your relationship settled into a comfort zone, and since then have you, by any chance, become less interested in physical aspect of it? Have you observed external factors influencing your sex life, for instance, work stress? If you say yes to any of the above questions then you (and him) need to together figure out ways of sorting out the issues.

In case the problem is none of the above, then you must sit your boyfriend down and discuss with him and clear out his intentions and yours too. Regarding the threats, don’t give in to any of them. If you have to leave (assuming you’re staying at his place) then you must make safe arrangements for yourself first, before you confront him. You could choose to go back to your parents if they are supportive. Or find willing friends who would be happy to stand by you. Also, giving him and yourself a timeout may help you both gain clearer perspective on your relationship.
For the stress that you must be under, do seek help from a professional.

All the best,

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