Counselling

My husband hit me for ten years

I have been taking physical and verbal abuse ever since I got married.
A sad girl in forest

Question

Hello Ma’am,

I have been married since ten years and my husband’s behaviour enrages me. He intentionally neglects me and misbehaves with me. I found him speaking against me behind my back and he tries to humiliate me all the time. His family members are also mean to me. Several times I’ve tried to talk to him about this but he has always avoided and instead of answering me, he hits me. He has been raising his hand to me since the first month of marriage. I thought things will improve but they didn’t. They got worse day by day. Now we have a one-year-old daughter and she won’t like us to get separated but I think I can’t handle it any more. What should I do?

Related reading: The words “He’s your boyfriend, not your husband!” saved me from my abusive boyfriend and empowered me

Answer:

Dear Married for Ten Years,

Ten years! That is some patience, I do not know what has made you stick around with a man who doesn’t seem to love or respect you. I am happy that you think you cannot take it any more. Because trust me, no one is worth more than your self respect.

Secondly , your daughter is just one year old. What makes you say she won’t like it?  Do you think she will be happy seeing her mother being hit, abused and humiliated? What kind of an environment will that be for a child to grow up in?

I suggest that you seek legal help in this matter and also a financial expert to evaluate your risks. It is important that you stand up for yourself.

All the best!

Dr Snigdha
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