My husband hits me for refusing oral sex

Dear ma’am,

I am a 24-year-old housewife. One year of my marriage has passed. Nowadays my husband always insists on oral sex. I don’t like it. He beats me for not taking his penis into my mouth.

Sometimes he gets so angry that he hits me with hard objects. Please suggest what I should do.

Dr Sharmila Majumdar says:

Dear Lady,

We can mostly agree that pain in most forms and at most times is a predominantly negative experience. Hurt someone long enough or hard enough and they won’t even be the same person afterwards. It’s a very traumatic experience mentally and physically.

Inflicting damage intentionally is a universally frowned-upon thing. When your actions result in harm to others, be it your husband or wife, they are most severe when the damage was intentional.

Mutual pleasuring is a must for thriving, satisfying sex life. The relationship where you should have been feeling the safest became the one where you are violated. Violence in any form, whether in a sexual or marital relationship, is absolutely unacceptable.

The best is to bring your husband to sexual and marital counselling, by gently suggesting it to him and not forcing him. Try having an open discussion with him and explain to him you are getting affected psychologically due to his bedroom behaviour. Also, you can trade with him that you can have oral sex twice or thrice a week and to give you time to adjust and get more used to it.

do not put up with violence, as this only increases with time.
Do not put up with violence, as this only increases with time.

Everything said and done, do not put up with violence, as this only increases with time. It becomes a habit which might spread into other areas of your life. Worst comes to worst, you can try to confide in your mother-in-law or mother about the violence, keeping them in the loop.

If your husband agrees for a sexual and marital counselling session I would be happy to treat him. For more information about how to consult me, you can visit my website

I wish you luck and love.

Dr Sharmila Majumdar

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Readers Comments On “My husband hits me for refusing oral sex”

  1. Your first priority is you know one can tuch you. With out your permision lesson him not to do wrong with you without convince, even he not understand warning him to leave him.

  2. No one has the right to harm you in anyway. Period. You should talk to your husband, offer him solutions like seeing a councelor, and definitely not repeating this behaviour. If he is repeating it then string out of the marraige should be your priority. So that you are not further violated

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