Counselling

My husband is calling me names

Trying to Listen

Q: I’ve been married to a person in the court of law for one year. I’m still not formally married in front of my family and relatives. Some days back I found some recordings from my husband’s phone where he is talking with his brother. I could not believe my own ears. I was and am shocked at the words and language for me, the way he talked about me. What should I do when I know my husband is cheating on me by calling me names to his brother? I feel depressed. Please tell me how to control myself. 

A: You ought to first find some composure on your own before you take the necessary step of talking to your husband about what you discovered. It is your right to know why the things that were said were said. You have the right to question him fair and square. You are his legally wedded wife. You ought to be able to trust him enough, before you make your marriage public or even continue to stay married.

A couple that went from being married young, having children and a happy family, to facing challenges, emotional fallout and domestic abuse, before the wife decided to wake up from the nightmare.

This difficult time would become even harder, however, if you made it about yourself or blame yourself or feel sorry for yourself. It is more difficult in hard times like these to not take it personally. However, if one falls into that pattern of thinking, one will realise that it is getting difficult to acquire skills to deal with the situation. I wish you all the strength to face the situation.


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