I have been married since the past twelve years and have kids aged ten and six. We have been staying in our house since the last three years but since the beginning, due to disturbances of lift, neighbours, bathroom noises etc. I have not been able to sleep undisturbed even for two to three hours at night. (Before this we were in US for almost 11 years. The three years of disturbed sleep began to show in my blood report with high Hemoglobin and RBC indicating stress, sleep deprivation and hormonal imbalance. To improve my health, I have rented an apartment (temporarily) and have been staying there with the children since last 4 months. My husband helped me in moving and setting up with basic utensils. Now my health is improving considerably as I am getting undisturbed sleep but… My husband suddenly has withdrawn from me and children.
He is not meeting us, not picking up our calls and is badmouthing me to his sister and parents. My in-laws stay in another rented flat on the floor above ours. My husband is a mama’s boy and my MIL is a control freak. I keep visiting my own house every week but he makes sure that he is not there during the time the kids and I are there. Both of us are working full time. My parents and in-laws intervened but he is not saying anything. Please let me know what should I do. And why is he acting like this when he himself helped me in moving to another place?
This is indeed a very unique situation. It looks like he has probably felt hurt or upset by your decision to move out and might have taken it personally upon himself. He helped you out of humanity because he knew your health was suffering, but as your partner he probably wasn’t 100% in on the idea. Physical distance in a marriage can work in funny ways.
If you are feeling better now, maybe you can consider moving back in. If the noise bothers you, you can try ear plugs or noise cancellation headphones at night. Try and meet your husband over lunch or coffee and share with him that you feel like he is distant and ask him if something about your relationship is bothering him. Maybe he feels self-conscious in front of his parents and that’s why he’s not saying anything despite them intervening, but may be if you ask in private, he might open up. Do try this and let us know if it worked.