I Feel My Insecurity Could Ruin My Relationship with My Boyfriend

Well, I don’t know how to put down my feelings which have been troubling me for a long time. After being in a number of disastrous relationships, I am finally committed to a person and this relationship has given me stability. Yet I am always insecure about him and I feel that I am going to ruin our relationship very soon. I really don’t know how to overcome my insecurity. My insecurity could ruin my relationship with my boyfriend.

My insecurity and trust issues could ruin my relationship

I know an insecure partner drains a relationship. The insecurities are primarily related to my ever haunting fear and trust issues that he might cheat on me. Since we are in a long-distance relationship, I feel very anxious about his life. A part of me tells me I am simply overthinking and another part of me forces me to keep a check on him and leads me to a vulnerable state of mind. I don’t know how to express insecurity in a relationship and I am sure I am doing it wrong. It’s a terrible situation and I am afraid I am unable to handle my own feelings.

I am insecure about my boyfriend Image source

Please help.

Dear Lady,

You are struggling with abandonment insecurities. You have had some disastrous relationships before and I am sure if we looked hard enough we’ll find a pattern and the roots of this issue lie somewhere in your early life.

The root of this problem should be addressed

Most of the time we form certain blueprints in our minds and we take them everywhere with us, especially in our romantic relationships. I suggest you meet a psychotherapist who can work with you long term and help you unravel the root of these self-sabotaging patterns and help you emerge from them.

It is important to look at the future

This is something that will take time and patience and I suggest you invest in that for a better life. I would be happy to help in personalised sessions.

All the best!

Prachi Vaish