Live-in and Open How many of you are open to the idea of an open marriage? Team Bonobology December 9, 2020 Team Bonobology December 9, 2020 We asked a few people for their opinion on open marriages. And here’s what they had to say. This happy couple and their open marriage We’ve had an open marriage, where occasional flings were okay. Was it a bad idea? Open Relationship 2 comments Deb Chatterjee July 27, 2018 - 7:13 pm Open marriage is better than cheating. However, it raises the question that Aarif has pointed out. How can a human being love many partners simulatneously? That partner must be conditioned not to get jealous. That partner must not fall attracted to any of the other members in an open marriage. These require mental conditioning and a special form of character development, which our society does not teach. Humans are adaptive creatures. We accept being conditioned to norms and customs over a long period of time. We humans are disciplined animals, which is why we have evolved than other species. Thus our society teaches us to maintain discipline and also we are conditioned to being monogamous. How can that all change radically, I mean what we have learnt for about 30 years of our lives all because we suddenly feel necessity of having sex with another person? It is like saying that we have to change our lives midway because we have to forget counting that we were first taught as kids. Such is absurd and hence so is the rejection of norms and customs we grew up with. In my view open marriage is all about lust. It is not about love which is different from lust. You cannot love many persons equally. Actually, people with sexual fondness towards many people are behaving like animals who normally do not have any one fixed partner. But still they also mate with one partner at a time. In this sense one can argue that partners in open marriage are emotionally inferior to animals. Sorry for being rude, but that’s how I see the flaws in open marriage, though it is a better procedure than cheating. Log in to Reply Radha Patel June 15, 2018 - 12:28 pm Here’s the thing about open marriage. It has to be mutual. And both the individuals must be certain about their sensibilities to maintain a balance in their lives with all their involvement. Because, at the end of the day, you both claimed to be partners for life. So if that understanding falters, if that balance gets affected, there will be no marriage to carry on. What we need to understand is, open marriage is a concept that promotes the idea of polyamory with a mutual consensus. And being poly-amorous responsibly demands certain emotional sensibilities that you must ensure you have. If you can ensure that then surely you can make it work. I have read a story of a satisfying open marriage where a woman, her beloved and his wife made it to a successful trio. Log in to Reply Leave a Comment Cancel ReplyYou must be logged in to post a comment. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.