Your husband is not in your Facebook friend list?!
I had one of my friends ask another friend of mine “But how can you not be friends with him? Do you not know about online PDA?” We tried so hard not to roll our eyes at that. You are living with this person in real life and it’s okay to not want to have an online relationship too. That does not make you a bad person. It is completely fine to not know what your SO is posting and be oblivious to which woman is regularly commenting on his posts. Being friends in the digital world leaves arenas for speculation.
I once knew a couple who broke up because, according to him, “She was a totally different person online.” Problems of the millennials, right?
Social information overload on the Internet
Facebook is equipped with so many features and frankly, it is a little too easy to look for people and stalk them and know their whereabouts. We are so into Facebook-ing, that our ‘check-in’ and tagging is an everyday thing. ‘Friends’ on Facebook now know what you had for lunch, who your favourite singer is, how often you shower and what colour your poop was this morning. There is just too much personal information floating around and we revel in it.
Going by that, how necessary is it to let your husband or SO know what you have been up to all day? You have five calls a day anyway where you divulge everything about yourself. Also, there are things you might want to keep a secret exclusively from him.
Related reading: 10 cute statuses to share with your man once committed
Things you don’t want to share
- You might not want him to know when you crib about your mother-in-law to complete strangers. You do not like your MIL and occasionally call her names and share sarcastically hilarious posts which do not speak so kindly of your husband’s mother. The sarcasm and jabs taken at your Mil should be kept under wraps, since it is his mother you are talking about. And maa is precious.
- You might not want him to know what you have been up to on your girls’ night out. You tucking a 2000 rupee note in the dancer boy’s Speedo is not something you would like your husband to see.
You tucking a 2000 rupee note in the dancer boy’s Speedo is not something you would like your husband to see.
What happens in the club should be for the eyes of the people who you do not know; and your husband is not one of them.
- To keep him from knowing how often you hit the sale that goes on in all corners of the city – and him finding out why your closet is overflowing with clothes.
- To keep him from starting a virtual competition with your school friends by posting embarrassing pictures of you (and he has tons of them).
- You don’t want to know about some calls you made in the past, your treacherous past that has been documented by your friends in ‘comments’ – like the time when at the beginning of your relationship, you intentionally stood him up or the time you almost cheated on him. There is some stuff you know, if they see the light of day, big fights will ensue.
Related reading: 8 things that are OK to NOT share with your partner
But seriously, try face-to-face instead of Facebook time
On a serious note, couples who are friends on social media know everything there is to know. So when they actually meet at the end of the day, there is not much left to talk about. If you ex liked and commented on Facebook and you are rolling your eyes at him, imagine how fun will it be to tell your SO about it and roll eyes at him together. You share a laugh over small stuff like a video of a cat playing the piano or a kid slipping on mud. Also, too much information about a person can be detrimental to the relationship.
On the other hand, if you do have your husband in your ‘list’, giving prompt check-ins might initiate a conversation about how you don’t have time to reply to his messages or call him back but have enough time for some social media activity. Doing this over a long period of time might leave him feeling ignored. On social media, it is more about being likeable to people apart from your loved ones (i.e. family), and taking guilty pleasure in it is what it is all about now. So not having your husband in your Friend List is not a crime, as long as there is no tension between you and your husband about it.