Question:
Hello ma’am,
I am in love. My boyfriend and I want to marry, but my family don’t agree. They want me to marry within my caste and forget my boyfriend. We are madly in love. I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want to lose my family. I am stuck between the two. My family is looking for a partner for me. What should I do now?
Kavita Panyam says:
Dear Girl,
You are in love and want to marry your boyfriend. Is this just your thought or has he actually asked you to marry him?
As he is from a different caste, your parents do not approve of him. They have given birth and raised you, which is why they may have dreams for you. Try to see their dilemma too.
As you have not mentioned your ages and qualifications, it is tough to come up with any specific solution for you.
Being madly in love is a phase that often leads to impulsive decisions. So, you must be very sure of your feelings for him before you decide anything.
While marrying with the parents’ consent would be the best thing to do, you know your situation better.
Here are a few questions for you to ponder on:
1. Have you met his family and friends? Can you adjust with someone from a different caste?
2. Are you financially independent?
3. Sometimes passion and the high of being in love with love blinds us to a person’s actual personality. So are you sure you know him well enough to want to marry him?
If you are sure of all of the above, try and convince your parents to accept him. You may also request them to quit seeing other matches till this issue is resolved.
I hope you choose well, as your future depends on this all important decision.
Good luck
Kavita
When you can date anybody but marry only within the community
Yeah! Correctly said that the girl has not mentioned her age or qualifications so it is very hard to find out !
Whatever step you take, check integrity with it.
probably, if his parents are fine with it, you should try to convince your parents further, provided you can actually assure them that, keeping the caste factor aside, he can take care of you in all aspects and you both can live a happy life ahead.
These are decisions one must take after cateful thought as love may not be enough to sustain the obvious differences. It may also be that the boy may or may not stand up for her after marriage when differences arise with the other members of his family. If she goes into this as a strong and determined person love would grow and shine..
But if she is weak and needs support love may buckle under pressure. So it’s not just about parents rather more about her mental and physical strength to cope better.