(As told to Joie Bose)
It’s about time women spoke up about sex. It’s not something just the male of the society has a right over. The way these men go gallivanting around with their manhood, waiting to devour any woman who is remotely sexy (and trust me, for these men there is no parameter for sexy) you would think that it is jungle rule and they are tigers or lions and women are deer. The way it is a man who approaches you first at a date by slightly touching the little finger first and then the palms and so on and so forth, it’s disgusting! I would rather a man first get soaked in my mind and then directly bite my lips with passion and I would bite him back and crawl on him, cling to him and tickle all his sexual fantasies.
Sex is beautiful! But men view sex as a sin that they want to indulge in! Sex is sinfully good if you view everything good as sin. That way, getting good marks and topping the class is also a sin.
Not his mind but his body
I am pissed with the mind of the man but man, I am totally in love with his body. I’m a girl, and I love sex. I like the warmth and strength that is in a man’s hand. The slight coarseness there totally turns me on. I am not a tame cat, I am a wild one and I like my sex that way. In fact many women I know are like that. It’s just that very few people say it.
Women have been fed on fairy tales where they are all demure and the prince comes to save them. This somehow warps their mentality about sex.
They want a man to save them and then devour them delicately. Sex must be passionate but it must also be delicate. I don’t get it! It’s inhuman and it is an act, that is why all that happens in movies. I wonder why people want to ape the movies so much.
I have no faith in men and do not want to commit to any man. I’ve seen many men break hearts and love for them lies in their groins, where lust should. They can’t distinguish between love and lust. I have no faith in people like that.
It’s love, not lust
I love a woman. In the truest sense of the term love and I want to spend my life with her. I want to wake up in the morning and see her by my bed. She is soft, and I want to kiss her. I want her to give me the sweetest of all orgasms. I want her to be a part of my struggles. I want to build a house with her. I want to roam around the world with her. I don’t want to term her as anything, really, for she is the world to me. But she doesn’t get me… She doesn’t get the difference between love and lust.
She is very, very fond of me, I know that for sure. We share a deep bond which is irreplaceable. But she will not move in with me or be emotionally committed to me if I’m not sexually committed to her. Trust me, I would have been that way had she been a man. I love the body of the man more than I love the body of the woman. Hence I told her that I can swear to her my emotional fidelity but not my sexual. She’s not happy with that. She fusses when I am with a man. She cries for random reasons and tells me it’s because of hormones, but I know the truth. She fights with me for weird things, if I forgot to get groceries or something.
We still live as roommates, for we met when I was sharing a flat with five girls. The entire thing is strange.
I don’t fit…
Sometimes I wish I didn’t think so much and just went ahead with an arranged marriage like the women in my family do. They don’t study after their twelfth. I did and this is the mess I got myself into. I told my brother about this and he looks at me as if I am a freak.
Related reading: The love story of Maya and Meera
Women just can’t give so much importance to sex. You’re either a lesbian or not. You’re either in a totally committed relationship or not. I don’t know, for in my head none of that is perfect for me for I don’t fit in there. Period. I am what you might say is a wild cat, but seriously, I’m someone who is just plain honest. You can’t control the way you are and I have learnt to accept it.