Why Do Men Look At Other Women – 23 Real And Honest Reasons

Why do men look at other women even though they are already in a loving relationship? This is a question women have asked for ages. Your man might be head over heels in love with you and yet you will occasionally catch him staring at a woman who looks like she has walked right off the set of a fashion show.

So more often than not, it leaves us wondering what is going on in that man’s psyche. We are far too progressive to write it off as their basic nature. However, we understand that it can be annoying when your man has a wandering eye and makes you wonder what’s going on in his mind. In this article, we present 23 real and honest reasons men check out other women, even though they are already in a relationship. And trust us when we tell you that it has nothing to do with you!

Do All Men Look At Other Women?

Oh yes, they do. But it does not necessarily mean anything and might even be just as casual and innocuous as women looking at other guys sometimes. It does not necessarily stem from dissatisfaction in their primary relationship or because of sexual interest in other attractive women. There can be all kinds of reasons for it. It could be admiration or something else, and it should be allowed. It does not necessarily mean that your partner is going to cheat on you. Men looking at other women is a common occurrence and needn’t always raise alarms.

Is It Normal For A Man To Look At Other Women When In A Relationship?

It basically depends on how often your man indulges in this kind of thing. Is he always flirting with his eyes when he goes out and sees women? Does he stare at women to the point that they leave or feel uncomfortable? Or does he give them some sort of an inviting look, showing them that he is available?

It’s one thing for men to notice other women. If your man glances around just the way people do generally in their surroundings, smiles a bit, and looks at attractive women sometimes, it can be considered okay. But when men stare at other women, that is a different ballpark and probably not okay. Men need to be respectful and not ogle at the women they see around them. This behavior is borderline predatory, and as a partner, you are allowed to be upset.

Why Do Men Look At Other Women? 23 Real Reasons

Now, let’s decode what triggers this behavior. Why do men look at other women? While there is sufficient research to support that not just men but also women check other people out even when they are already in a relationship — there is a wider belief that men do it a lot more. In fact, men of any age, particularly find women in their early 20s very attractive, studies suggest. But it is not always because he is a serial cheater or does not respect you.

Let’s admit it. Despite the constant vilification, men are actually not testosterone-driven beings with a stone for a heart. They are human beings with human needs. Hence, when an attractive person walks by, they will most likely give them a quick glance. There is no compulsion or law which forbids you from looking at other people when you are in a relationship. And even if your husband looks at other females online, does it always mean that he is interested in them?

It is normal for men to notice other women. However, it is also normal to not be happy when you see your man eyeing or looking at younger women. So let’s put millions of women out of their misery by finally revealing the real reasons men look at other women, and you’ll realize that you don’t always have to worry too much. Here are 23 reasons the world is full of men who look at other women:

1. Attractive women in Red catch their eyes

Research suggests that men are drawn to women (like bees to honey) who wear the stunning color, red. The color serves as an aphrodisiac in color psychology and this attraction is rooted in the biological needs of men. Since it is primarily known as the color of attraction, a woman walking by in a hot red dress will definitely become the subject of a man’s attention, even when he is with his partner. Even good men can’t exactly resist this one. But it does not point to a tendency for infidelity.

2. The woman is extremely attractive 

It is easy to complain that “my boyfriend looks at other girls in front of me”, but can you honestly deny looking at an extremely handsome man when you went to the mall with your beloved partner? While smarter men will be discreet about it, some men linger their eyes a bit longer. And just like women, these guys too indulge in their eye candy, until that woman looks in the same direction right at them.

Imagine if Chris Evans happened to run into you while you cross the street (okay, we are getting off-topic here). But even if not a Hollywood actor, if a young hot thing walked by you and your girls in a restaurant, don’t deny that you all would not even discuss it. And that doesn’t mean you would act on it and hit on the guy? It’s similar for your man. So why do men look at other women? Because she is attractive. Simple.

Relatable Reading: 17 Signs There Is Someone Else In Your Partner’s Life

3. He is curious about her 

When he looks at another woman, what is he thinking? Well, for all you know — he is probably wondering where she is from because of her outfit! Here are some reasons he could be staring at her, which might be completely harmless:

• He is simply wondering: Humans are curious creatures. We frequently imagine hypothetical situations and speculate on how our lives may be lived in an alternative existence. It doesn’t necessarily imply that he yearns for this woman
• He is drifting off for no good reason: He might simply be curious to know what she’s like. Let him drift off a bit and do not take it too seriously
• There is a question on his mind: Maybe the way she is dressed or the things she is saying have caught his attention, or perhaps he is wondering if he knows her from somewhere. These may be some questions on his mind which could be causing him to look at this woman

4. The other woman is causing a scene 

Sometimes, when you think that your boyfriend is making eye contact with another woman, it does not necessarily mean that he is flirting with the woman or checking her out. Maybe he is just looking at the ruckus she is causing in the middle of a restaurant! Maybe she’s loud or said something rude to the waiter earlier. At this point, you’ll notice that not just your guy but even other people are probably looking at this other girl.

A woman making a scene is sure to draw a guy’s attention. Naturally, he will look if there is a fight going on or if she is being loud and everyone is looking at her. Most men do that, and it does not have to be a red flag.

5. She stands out from the crowd 

And it is not necessarily true that she is better than you. She is just different. Don’t we all stop and stare at another person who looks different from the herd of people around us? So do men, so why bash them for it? It doesn’t always mean that the other woman is super attractive. Maybe your man’s wandering eye has landed on a woman who seems to stand out from the crowd on account of an absurd haircut or a giant tattoo.

6. He is lost in his own world

The reason for men to look at other women is not always complicated rocket science or a big discussion. For all you know, you just have a daydreamer on your hands.

• It was a harmless glance: It’s possible that he did give a beautiful woman a quick glance but did not actually mean to linger on it. It’s possible that he just zoned out after that, which makes it seem like he is fixating on her
• He is thinking about something else entirely: His eyes are still on her, but his mind is elsewhere. Before you count it as a red flag in a relationship, snap him back to attention. He’s still your guy, albeit a little lost. It’s annoying, but they do that sometimes and it is best if you do not ruminate over it too much

7. He is looking elsewhere

As mentioned in the previous point, sometimes a wandering eye is less about the eye and its gaze, and more about the mind. Don’t jump to the conclusion that your man is staring at an unfamiliar woman lewdly. He might simply be focusing on the same area as the woman. He could be looking at something else entirely. Be sure of where his eyes are before you get too upset with him.

8. Something is wrong in your relationship 

Men looking at other women can be harmless, but it can also point to greater trouble in a relationship. So when you catch it happening, evaluate the situation and the reasons behind it. If possible, bring it up with him and see his reaction and reasoning. Because all fun and jokes apart, catching your man looking at other women all the time can truly be a matter of concern.

• The relationship is close to ending: While some men can’t stop it because of how they are or because they just zone out, others purposefully check out women when their relationship is precariously close to ending, and this is their way of bringing your attention to it. So if you constantly find yourself telling people, “My boyfriend looks at other women in front of me”, you need to address the problems in your relationship. There’s something going on and this is a sign for you to fix it
• He is checking out other options: Because he is unhappy, he is no more present with you in the moment. Which is why he tends to drift off and look at other women. He is glancing around, searching for what else he can have

9. Maybe he is sexually unhappy with you 

When he looks at another woman what is he thinking? Well, as much as you do not want to hear it, it is possible that he is thinking about being with her, emotionally or sexually. A fleeting sex dream perhaps fueled by his habit of watching internet porn or fantasies about what it could be to be with someone else. Have things been sour in your relationship lately? Has the sexual tension between you two died down? Because if that’s true, his checking out attractive people may mean he is sexually dissatisfied.

This could also be the answer to: why do men browse the websites/pages of other women? He might, after all, be unhappy with you. His actions, such as watching videos or browsing online for photographs of women, are a sign that he is unhappy sexually in the relationship. If your boyfriend/husband looks at other females online, have an honest conversation with him, find out what’s been bothering him, and see if you can fulfill his unmet needs. 

10. You are looking at the other woman 

This one is going to bring you great relief and put your worries aside. Why do men look at other women? One of the reasons could be that you are looking at her! It’s not that you are not allowed to admire other women just because you’re straight. Maybe you’re just looking at her shoes and wondering where she got that fantastic pair. There could be many reasons, but clearly, your partner is just following what your lead, as most men do.

Related Reading: 10 Thoughts In A Woman’s Mind When Her Man Is Checking Out A Girl

11. He has nothing else to do 

Your man looking at another woman sounds problematic, but sometimes, the reason behind it could be as banal as him being bored out of his mind. Staring at other people could be a way for a man to have fun while out by himself and relaxing at a bar or club. There is nothing else for him to do at that moment, so your man is just staring away.

Once, I went for a casual dinner with an old friend. While returning from the bathroom, I realized he was staring at a woman who had just entered the restaurant. I teased him about it and he shrugged his shoulders and said, “What, you were in the loo, what was I supposed to do?” And true to his words, he didn’t glance in her direction again once we went back to chatting. 

12. He wants to get your attention

What draws guys to other women? This will sound childish but some men will look at a different person just as a way to draw your attention to themselves. Perhaps, your partner is feeling neglected by you and is trying to give you a taste of how he feels.

• He wants you to give him your time: Your partner might decide to turn his attention to the women nearby if you appear disengaged during a conversation. He will ignore you for a different person just so that you pay attention to him
• He is trying to ruffle your feathers: He is doing this to upset you, so that you can change your behavior and give him all your attention. It’s a weird tactic that men sometimes indulge in. He thinks that if he acts distracted, it will make you focus on him because no woman enjoys being ignored.

Well, if he does this (no matter how weird it may seem), at least, you know it’s because he wants you and not because he’s pining for other attractive women. So consider it a win! And definitely, put your phone down and give him the attention that he wants from you.

13. He is admiring something else 

Your man may be admiring something else about the woman and not necessarily looking at her body and fantasizing about it. It could be very innocent actually. For instance, if your boyfriend sees a superstar online, he might comment that he would like to see that celebrity’s hairdo on you. 

He might even decide to purchase a dress for you after expressing admiration for the way a different woman wore it. Before you think you need to find a way to handle your man looking at other women, make sure that he’s not admiring a piece of jewelry or a bag that he thinks you would like. Good men are like that!

14. He needs stimulation 

Sometimes, the honest answer to why do men look at other women is that they are in a situation that is not emotionally, romantically, or intellectually stimulating. Do all men check out women? They can, when they have nothing else to do and just need something to focus their attention on.

For instance, you might find the man you are meeting for a first date eyeing the waitress because he is not interested in what you are saying or he is simply bored with the topic. As rude as that is (which is a separate topic on its own), it could be one of the silly reasons men do something like this.

15. You are indulging his behavior 

If you frequently find that your boyfriend is checking out a girl and say nothing to him about it, he is going to assume you are okay with it. So he continues in his acts where he looks at another person because he feels that it is absolutely all right to do so. If you do not make him aware of your displeasure and just laugh or shrug it off, he will assume that this is acceptable behavior in a relationship. If you want there to be mutual respect in your relationship, you have to voice your concerns.

Jenna, 32, who recently got out of a relationship of 5 years, says, “I used to feel like a cool girlfriend when I let him look at other women. In fact, I would just let it go when he asked me if I was uncomfortable. I wasn’t comfortable and I never communicated that to him. It became frustrating for me and by then, it was too late to say anything. It just became a habit for him.” 

16. She is a younger woman 

According to a study, men are inclined toward women who appear younger. So if your 50-year-old husband is staring at the young waitress, that’s probably why. A lot of men like looking at younger women because they are more energetic and fun. And this is going to make you ask, “Do guys only care about looks?”

Well, looks are a major part of attraction in the human species. So his attraction can be natural. But no, looks are not everything. Even if you see him eyeing an attractive woman who is younger than you, most of the time, it means nothing more than staring. But if your husband is insisting on going back to the same restaurant, you need to raise more than an eyebrow and ask him what is really going on.

17. The woman resembles someone

The world is full of doppelgangers and maybe the woman who just walked into the grocery store resembles a childhood friend or a celebrity that your man has a crush on. Men tend to fixate on people who remind them of someone else and it does not mean that he is gearing up to go ask her out for a drink.

When we come across someone who bears an uncanny resemblance to another person in our life, we all tend to stare a little bit, don’t we? So cut him some slack. If it is too much staring, then ask him to stop and he will understand.  

Related Reading: 21 Signs Of Lack Of Respect In A Relationship

18. Why do men look at other women? They do not respect you 

In some cases, the real reason for men to look at other women, especially in front of their spouse or partner, is that they have no respect for the person they’re with, and don’t care about the impact of their actions.

• He does not understand respect: They’re callous and do not know how to be in a relationship. Yes, sometimes it can be as brutal as that. Perhaps, he has not been in a healthy relationship before and simply is not aware that his behavior can be unnerving for his partner
• He is immature: Some men feel it is all right to stare at all the other women around them who they find even remotely attractive. Clearly, this man has not been in a lot of healthy relationships or is utterly immature and doesn’t understand the meaning of respect in a relationship.

19. He wants to make you jealous 

A man can purposefully stare at a different girl and let you know he is doing it just to make you jealous, which could be triggered by his own insecurities. Maybe things have been rocky in your relationship or maybe he caught you staring at another guy and is simply doing it to let you know how it feels.

He’s clearly only doing it because he feels unloved or uncared for by you. So he is acting out by trying to make you uncomfortable. In that case, take our advice and do not give in to this sort of jealousy in a relationship. Instead, identify his behavior pattern and have a healthy discussion with him about it.

20. He is sexist and often objectifies women

Him staring at other attractive people might be because he is plainly a man who objectifies other women. The male gaze has been a source of discomfort for women all over the globe. If your man is ogling another woman, he could be objectifying her. It is sexist behavior that should not be encouraged, especially if you catch him doing it. Let him know that it is wrong and makes you uncomfortable.

21. The woman is seducing your man 

There’s no need to blame it on him as it is possible that the opposite sex is at fault here. The other woman might have made it her goal to seduce your man, even if he is going about his business and trying not to care about her. She might pass your man a message or wink at him, for example, to grab his attention. His wandering eye will not be able to resist such advances from the other woman and he will end up looking back at her. Either he does it out of sheer confusion or because he likes the attention.

22. He likes the woman he is staring at 

This is going to be a rough one to read so brace yourself. When a woman says, “I get jealous when my man looks at other women”, she probably has a good reason to be feeling that way, and it is not something that is just in her head. There is a high chance that the real reason he’s looking at someone else is that he likes her romantically/intellectually/sexually. Whether he acts on these feelings or not is secondary. 

23. Why do men look at other women? It is his nature

I wanted to save this for the last because while true, this can be a subjective matter. Biologically, a portion of a man’s brain is wired to respond when he notices attractive women. As per a study, men are far more prone to succumbing to their sexual desires than women are. They don’t have as much resistance, hence, when an attractive or physically appealing woman comes across a man, he tends to stare at her. 

5 Tips To Get Him To Stop Looking At Other Women

Most women find themselves complaining, “I get jealous when my husband looks at another girl”, but have no idea what to do about it. They notice how the love of their life looks at beautiful women around them and choose to simply live in that discomfort or confusion. Now that you know the real reasons men check out other women, let’s talk about dealing with a man’s wandering eye when the occasional staring starts developing into a habit. While it is natural to look at other human beings, it is also normal for you to be uncomfortable with this. Here are 5 tips to make him stop looking at other women: 

1. Voice your concern 

How can you make him stop looking at other women when he is not even aware that you don’t appreciate this behavior? If you ignore it, he will assume that you don’t care and he can continue. To remedy this situation, effectively communicate with him and find out why he keeps looking at other women. He may use phrases like “Oh! That dress is gorgeous!” as an excuse. Even so, being aware of your discomfort may act as a deterrent, especially if he still loves and cares about you.

2. Let him know that he can control it 

Here’s how to handle your man looking at another woman when you two are in a committed relationship – by helping him out! Make him realize that he has a habit of staring at other women and give him the confidence to control it by being supportive of him. Show him that you trust him and that you are ready to help him, as long as his intentions are in the right place. He may not be aware of his problematic gaze, and a little guidance could be just what he needs to cut this habit out.

Related Reading: 9 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem In A Woman You Are Dating

3. Don’t make a big deal of it  

Men tend to be this way sometimes. So if you see that your boyfriend is checking out the opposite sex or that your husband is looking at a younger woman, do not make a scene about it. Yes, it annoys you when your partner blatantly turns to look at another woman while you’re around. But it’s best to exercise self-control and try to contain the situation using a different approach rather than anger.

Try being playful about it instead. Say, “Caught you!”, to gently draw his attention to it. You might also suggest to him that you can call her on his behalf. And you’ll both probably chuckle about it. He might just stop doing this eventually if you don’t make a big deal out of it.

4. Point out an attractive woman to your partner

I know it seems like the opposite of what you want, but when you point out an attractive woman to your partner, it shows that you are not an insecure woman and aren’t bothered by some meaningless staring. This will make your partner see you as the confident woman that you are, which will automatically increase your appeal, taking away his attention from the other woman. So give this a shot!

5. Work on improving your own self-esteem 

Self-esteem is the belief in one’s value. If your man’s glances at other women have a big impact on you, you should introspect about your sense of self-worth instead. It is possible that you have been overthinking the way he looks at other women. Think about how special and deserving you are. You know that there will always be more attractive women than you. Accept that, so his wandering eyes don’t bother you.

Sarah, 27, says, “I get jealous when my husband looks at another girl. I once told him this. To my surprise, he sat me down and told me how wonderful and beautiful I am to him and that looking at other women means nothing to him. That’s when I realized it was a ‘me’ problem. I’m working on being more confident about myself.” 

We hope this answers your question, why do men look at other women, and also gives you an insight into how to handle this behavior. Honest and open communication can better any relationship. If you are bothered by it, let him know. Or have fun, and don’t read too much into it. 

This article was updated in March 2023.

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