Are they treating others the way they want to be treated?
You seem to have found a nice person holding a good job, having an impeccable fashion sense and the one who showers you with all the attention in the world. You seem content, happy and thinking finally that you are dating a person who you will be in a healthy relationship with, until…uh oh, you notice the way your partner made a snarky comment on a wait staff at a restaurant. You are suddenly embarrassed that your partner is loud mouthing the waiter who accidentally dropped the scone on the floor.
While we get to know the person we are dating on a one-on-one basis where they tick off all the requirements, how they treat others is a big indicator of how they are as a person. After the mini episode in the restaurant if you are Googling red flags in a relationship, you feel it in your gut how your partner is going to be in the later stage of the relationship. Your date’s personal traits might be impeccable and sweet, but it is sure to be exclusively visible when you two get real up close and personal. The way he/she treats people, talks about them and how they behave with people is an indicator of who and how he/she is as a person.
Here are the red flags that should not be ignored.
1. Belittles people
If your partner is snarky and has a ‘You know nothing. Let me tell you how it really is’ kind of an attitude, you are looking at a major red flag that should not be ignored.
2. How they talk about their exes
How a person talks about their past lovers is a big indicator of how they are as a person. Notice if they always talk trash about their ex, how you never hear anything good about them, and they bad mouth their ex all the time. Having nothing good to say about an old partner is fine but bitching about them all the time is a red flag not to be avoided.
3. Way too flirty with everyone
We have all harmlessly flirted once in a while. But making it a habit, passing compliments and hitting on people every time you are out with them, is definitely a red flag. There is a place where you draw the line and if they cross it over and over again you need to assess the seriousness of the relationship.
4. Dismisses your interests, your ideas
Being in a relationship means taking interest in each other. But with your partner, it is all about them. They shrug off when you talk about your interests and rarely stop talking about themselves. Your personal interests rarely interest them over the sound of their own trumpets.
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5. Dismissive tone in their actions
While talking to others, he is too dismissive of anything that does not go with his opinion or view. Being in a relationship means wanting to compromise and he won’t be able to do that because he lacks sincerity and doesn’t take others seriously.
6. They ridicule other relationships
Constantly making fun of their friends in a relationship is a sign that they cannot take commitments seriously. If they constantly disapprove, taunt or ridicule the seriousness of any relationship, it is a red flag that he might not be able to commit to his relationship with you either.
7. No respect for their friends’ time
Just because they are dating you, must not be a reason for them to blow off plans with other people. It might make you feel special for a while but on a deeper analysis, it shows he cannot commit to plans and is disrespectful to others’ time. It is likely they agree to plans with other people until something better comes along (like you). It is a major red flag as he may do the same thing to you in the future.
8. They are short tempered
They take little time to Hulk out on anyone and no matter the place, time, person, they lash out very easily. Even if they are sweet to you in general, it is only a matter of time that they will lash out easily on you as well.
9. They are downright disrespectful
Playful banter is part of all relationships. But there is a fine line when playful becomes insulting and disrespectful. If they constantly crack jokes about your background, maybe religion, there is nothing playful about it. The backhanded ‘compliments’ make you think how he really is as a person.
10. Confidence levels ebbs and flows
Not everyone is always self-assured. But if your partner’s confidence levels rise and fall with the people they are with, it is definitely a sign that they cannot hold their ground. Being a pushover can lead to recurrent bumps in the relationship as they might not have the confidence to hold their own.