I am in a relationship with my teacher. I know it's not right, but how do I let go?

Ram | Posted on 22 Jun 2016
Counsellor : Deepak Kashyap
Ask Deepak | How Do I Get Out Of An Affair With My Teacher? | Bonobology

Q: I am in a relationship with my teacher, I know it's wrong. But I don’t know how to get out of this. Please help me out.

It is a problematic situation, Ram. You need to understand that it is not only problematic from a legal standpoint but also from the social and psychological point of view. It is illegal for teachers to have romantic and sexual relationships with their students. You are not living in ancient Greece, which means not only can your teacher lose her job if she enters into such a relationship but also virtually destroy her career.

I don’t mean to make you feel bad as much as I want you to be aware of the probable consequences of your actions. When you are in complete awareness of these consequences you will find yourself motivated to stay away from this relationship. I know it might be very hard but it needs to be done for the time being, until you guys can resume your relationship outside the conditions that you are in. I want to make it clear that I am not worried about the age gap as much as the power dynamics that come into play inevitably when you are in a teacher-student relationship. These rules are in place regardless of the age of the student or the teacher.

I sincerely and strongly recommend you go talk to a counsellor about attraction diffusing skills and to deal with the emotional difficulties that you might face after the severance of the relationship. Love is no license to create potentially life-altering difficulties in either of your lives. You can learn an important life lesson from this: love is just another emotion in life, a beautiful emotion, but just another emotion that in and of itself does not warrant a hasty decision that could create problems for you and potentially destroy your teacher’s career. 

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