Is it Wrong to Date a Married Woman?

Sam | Posted on 11 Aug 2016
Counsellor : Deepak Kashyap
Ask Deepak | Dating A Married Woman. Is It Wrong? | Bonobology

Question: This is Sam. I want advice on my current relationship. I am dating a married woman, and we have sex as well. Is this wrong? Hoping for a reply.

Hey Sam, yes, sleeping with people who might be cheating on their life partners is very problematic for multiple reasons. I am of the opinion that the ethical responsibility of breaking an agreement (assuming that theirs is not a consensually non-monogamous marriage) with her husband is not yours but hers alone.

I want to bring to your attention the other problematic aspects of it. When people cheat on someone, it is usually a sign that they haven’t addressed things that they need to, in their partner. You may not find it ideal to be the tool someone uses to vent out the frustration that exists in their relationship. There is also an emotional and social cost involved with cheating spouses. What if tomorrow, you find out for yourself that there is more than just sex between you guys; that would be far from simple, wouldn’t it be?

Even if you think it is not her fault and she has no other choice, you ought to think about yourself emotionally. Since you haven’t mentioned, I am not sure how old you are. I do want to tell you that complicated relationships are very demanding, much more so than “regular” ones, on one’s time and resources, both mental and financial. Not to forget, depending on where you live in the country (or the world), legal repercussions of being involved as an active male partner in the act of infidelity may also be very undesirable to say the least, if it comes to that.

Painting a doomsday scenario is only in the service of a point that you are an adult and you should make your own decision in the light of the information that you have.

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