Sending a naughty image or text to your love? Think again!

Shifa Mitra raises important points about being prudent, and having restraint when it comes to exchanging love 'notes' in the digital age, lest they come back to bite you

Shifa Maitra | Posted on 10 May 2016
Love & Technology | Should You Send Naughty Images & Texts?

We take technology so much for granted that we seem to have forgotten what life was like before we got so “connected”. It’s so much easier to fall in love, to cheat, to get married and to break up. A simple text can do the job. A change of status on Facebook can let the person – and the entire world – know they have been dumped…

Yet what happens to your digital life once you have moved on? Like the email drama playing out between two popular actors shows…there’s no moving on from there. It’s not like the time when you shredded the love letters while sobbing and having a drink and the ishq was over. Now, while the affair may have been hush-hush, the shame can be very public and cruel. Agreed newspapers do not want the gory details and pictures of Sneha from Surat, and Akshay from Bangalore but there is still a lot of harm that can happen.

Break ups are never easy and if the jilted one decides to get nasty the amount of ammunition available today is shocking. The seminude pic of yourself that you sent him when he was out of town can return to bite you. The raunchy text messages with a “for your eyes only” warning could be eyeballed by many. Emails, WhatsApp and online chats, voice messages, video calls, steamy videos – just the thought of how much you “shared” makes you shudder, right?

If you are married and cheating just think about what your sister-in-law or your neighbor will say when she gets an anonymous mail or forward showing you cozying up to your lover? If you are single, in a respectable job, and everyone from the peon to the CEO has seen “that” WhatsApp? People are more interested in celebrities but believe me they will be even more curious if it is someone from their circle.

Sure you can complain to the cyber cell and all of that but life will never be the same again. So what is the solution? Stop being yourself? Stop having fun? Don’t trust the person you are with? Sure, trust him or her, but protect yourself first. Once the two of you have seen the video of the shower delete it yourself from both phones.

If you are not tech savvy, please stay that way and stick to old fashioned flowers and love letters. Just don’t put anything out there that would make your mom or child cringe if they read it. Sure people can morph your pictures, shoot videos of you with hidden cameras and all of that, which is a crime and needs to be dealt with accordingly. You need to be smart and not expose yourself to trouble. Phone sex or sex via webcam is never as good as the real thing so don’t give in to temptation or bullying. You can’t undo some things so…

It’s unfair to think that each time a man or a woman asks her lover for something like this they intend to use it later, the thought probably doesn’t cross their mind. Yet once they have been dumped or feel like they have been dumped, it’s another matter. Revenge is a dish best served cold so you should not risk something coming up two years later a day before you are getting engaged or due for a promotion. When someone is hurting and looking at ways to lash out it’s obvious that they will look at what you left behind. Sure it’s a twisted mind that would lash out like this but this is the new equivalent to getting drunk and creating a scene outside your home or calling up your friends and bad mouthing you. In that case there is a clear villain but here things get messy. Everyone makes mistakes in love and lust but just be smart…

My suggestion is stick to whispering sweet nothings in person and stay guarded in your other communications – mails, chats, messages, pictures, videos, etc. It's better to be safe than to be sorry!

 

  

Shifa Maitra

Shifa Maitra is a creative consultant who is media agnostic, currently India content head for Fame Digital.

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Comments : 4

Karthi: need to b shrewdly careful. kick in romancing in person is very powerful thn the text messages.

Team Bonobology: Another good suggestion that came in by a reader - It’s not sexy to send a nude pic when you know he’s at work. Besides, do you want his co-workers seeing all your naughty bits? Opt for a flirty or sexy text versus a picture.

Rajat Poddar: Well advised! Know nothing about any email drama playing out between two popular actors shows, but no matter.

Team Bonobology: Despite the risks, people love sending dirty pictures. It seems like every other week we hear news stories about spiteful ex-boyfriends who post revenge porn online or celebs who get caught cheating :)

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