Love is allowing the other to be the way the other is

How much space is needed in a healthy relationship?

Raksha Bharadia | Posted on 26 Oct 2015
Love is allowing the other to be the way the other is

Yes, I did not need to and yet I went to Esprit showroom which had opened newly in my city, and blew up a big fat four figure amount. Another cotton frock, in yet another hue of brown was added to the already huge pile of single-piece cotton dresses. A few t-shirts and a pair of jeans made its way into the already cramped wardrobe. I had given in to this ridiculous, mindless extravagance after a good five months this time. The days in between were so whole with work and children that I had had no time to shop. That particular day I was feeling low and Esprit seemed to be a good mood-lifter.  

The shopping bag was supposed to be stacked away with clothes placed in their respective sections. But I was too excited on my new purchase and wanted to share my find with him. And so the bag stood there in all its red glory (Esprit bags are red in colour and so attract immediate attention). It was the first thing which my husband noticed as he walked in after a hard day's work. Avoiding the usual, 'Hi' he screamed, "Where do you think you will put them? Is there any space left? Or would you discard the ones which you have already worn once to make space?"

His tone pierced me right through, even though I knew his reaction was justified. All my excitement at what he thought of what I had picked, fizzled out. I became quiet. A few minutes later his anger calmed down and he felt apologetic and tried to make it up to me. He tried to make conversation. "How was your day?" "You know I struck a particularly good deal today". I answered in monosyllables. I wanted to sound warm, interested as I am at his return, but I could not bring myself to.

Over the dinner table, he said, "I am sorry for spoiling your mood". I said, "I am sorry too, for I know you are not wrong in telling me what you did".

We had made up, yet my mood for the day was gone. I knew that I must become normal; I was not angry or upset with him or myself but I just did not want to be chatty, exchanging the news of the day as we usually did. Instead, I said, "Let us go for a movie?" We went for a late-night English thriller, munched popcorn, ate an ice-cream, came back and slept.

In the morning he left for his morning jog and I got down to my yoga. At the breakfast table I started of, "You know I met the most amazing woman yesterday…..". 

Love is allowing the other the time the other needs to get back…



Comments : 2

Shruti Mathur: Live and let live... or here, love and let (the other) love (you)

Team Bonobology: "Humans are not monogamous, so if you feel it's fine and your partner is okay with it, go for it. Variety is the spice of life."


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