Ever heard of Phubbing? It can kill your romantic relationship

Something as common as cellphone use can undermine the bedrock of our happiness

Team Bonobology | Posted on 04 Nov 2015
Are You Phubbing Your Partner? | Bonobology

In what may be the first formal study of the impact of phone snubbing, or "phubbing," researchers at the Hankamer School of Business of Baylor University surveyed 453 American adults in the United States about the extent to which they or their partner use or are distracted by cellphones while in the company of a romantic partner and how this behavior impacts relationship satisfaction.

Researchers James. A. Roberts and Meredith E. David identified eight types of phone snubbing behavior that have become common in today's world. They are:

  • During a typical mealtime that my partner and I spend together, my partner pulls out and checks his/her cellphone.
  • My partner places his or her cellphone where they can see it when we are together.
  • My partner keeps his or her cellphone in their hand when he or she is with me.
  • When my partner's cellphone rings or beeps, he/she pulls it out even if we are in the middle of a conversation.
  • My partner glances at his/her cellphone while talking to me.
  • During leisure time that my partner and I are able to spend together, my partner uses his/her cellphone.
  • My partner uses his or her cellphone when we are out together.
  • If there is a lull in our conversation, my partner will check his or her cellphone.

(Any of this sound familiar to you?)

Writing in the journal Computers in Human Behavior, the researchers noted that  "the ubiquitous nature of cell phones makes phubbing… a near inevitable occurrence."

The researchers found that those whose romantic partners had more "phubbing" behaviors were more likely to experience conflict in the relationship and have lower levels of satisfaction.

“When you think about the results, they are astounding,” Roberts said. “Something as common as cellphone use can undermine the bedrock of our happiness — our relationships with our romantic partners.”

The researchers explained that "when one partner allows technology to interfere with time spent with their partner, it sends an implicit message of that partner's priorities."

An even more surprising finding in the study was that the consequences of the behavior can extend beyond the relationship itself — and into a person's greater well-being. Nearly half of the respondents in the survey said they were phubbed by their partner with 22.6 percent saying it causes conflict and 36.6 percent reporting they felt depressed at least some of the time.

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