I am in love with a boy who is pursuing his Engineering studies. He hails from a better background than mine, and he is better than me in everything- if we compared ourselves. But it does not bother him. The problem is that though he loves me too and is not letting me go- he says that he will not be able to marry me against his parent’s wishes. He promises me that he will try his best to convince his parents. I don’t think he will take a stand for me against his parent’s wishes.
His family is rigorous and also narrow-minded. They are all well-educated, and I am not even a graduate. Since he is so perfect, I know my parents will agree to him, but I know his mother will never agree to me… and we both will not do anything to hurt our families. What should I do?
You seem to be in an emotionally weak situation, and I sympathize with you. Your boyfriend seems to be good but is probably not going to take a stand in your favour and against his parents.
You mentioned three things: You felt that socially and academically you are not a match for him and that he hails from a ‘better background’. Second, you say his parents are ‘narrow-minded’. Third, ‘he says he will ‘try his best’ to convince them but will not go against them if they disagree. Keeping the situation in mind, perhaps your fears are not entirely unfounded. His chances of standing by you in front of his parents are bleak and meagre.
It also appears that he does not want to let you go because he thinks whatever time he can be with you is a bonus for him. He does not realize that being with you now shall increase your attachment with him. If he knows that the union is not possible, then he should ideally tell you to start focusing on your life without him as a life companion. Right now, it appears he is selfish.
We, however, are responsible for our self and our life – so you should start looking at your life and the possibilities that surround you. You might be vulnerable emotionally for some time; it may not be possible for you to start looking for someone else. You could utilize this time to complete your graduation, maybe do some course that shall strengthen your prospects for being independent financially.
Life Coach and Counsellor,