Sacred Bonding of Togetherness or Loneliness

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Stepping into the new phase of life, the journey of togetherness, union of two souls has always scared me. Yes, you guessed it right. I am talking about Marriage that was the turning point of my story. Want to share how this sacred bonding made my life miserable. I feel trapped. I regret that I would have been better single rather than mingling with the wrong person.

Since childhood, I was very pampered by my parents. I was born and brought up in a small town. After completion of my studies in 2007, I moved out of my city to search for a job. I went to bangalore and started working there. Few years later, my parents started finding suitable match for me. They want to settle me with the groom of their choice. They chose a well settled guy with a good family background from Kolkata. Without asking much to them, I agreed to meet the guy. I met him for about fifteen minutes and this created my fate. Everything got fixed and our parents arranged the marriage.

Marriages are made in heaven if goes well but the opposite if it doesn’t. I got hitched on Dec 2010. The day my beautiful life ended. Well, the initial honeymoon period was good. Me and my husband went for a honeymoon to Goa. Though it was for very short time and the only good memories that I can recollect. It ended quickly and we came back to kolkata. The reel life stopped and real life began. My in-laws who pretend to be very sweet before marriage suddenly turned to be rude.

During the initial days of my marriage, when I needed my partner the most he was too far from me.My husband who is supposed to be with me during night watches TV in his mom’s room. He comes into the room when I get asleep. He even don’t like talking to me after and ignored me like anything. We even don’t have any physical intimacy as according to him I don’t smell good. Post marriage, we live like room mates only the difference is change of married status. I felt lonely and depressed. I was just a maid in the form of good daughter in law to please everyone around.

My in-laws dominating nature, their set of rules everything is applicable to me except their son. My husband is complete muma’s boy. Her mother still care and pamper him as a kid. A kind of pampering that is too much to digest. My marriage is just for the namesake with my husband. Actually its with in-laws, I have to love them, take care of them please them and in return I do get accusations and sarcasms. I was fed up with my life, my husband don’t even look at me. He spent much time outside the home in office or with friends. In a new city with no job I have to be with his parents and live my life according to their wish. I simply got frustrated with my suffocated life.

I lost my job, my identity everything post marriage. The least I expected from everyone was acceptance, love and respect. Unfortunately, I got none.

During the initial days, I talked to my parents over the phone and cried. The answer I got is try to adjust in your new home.I was emotionally drained with my relationship. I decided to take charge of my own happiness and live my life the way I want to be. I started looking for a job to keep my self engaged. Luckily in 2015, I got a job in a company nearby my home. I went to an interview and cleared it. I felt like happiness is knocking at my doorstep.You even can’t imagine my happiness as I got the key to uphold my own freedom. At least I can spent few hours according to my own wish. My in laws and husband opposed my job saying the pay is very less. Actually they are bothered about the daily household chores like cooking, cleaning etc. I convinced and assured them that I will do everything while leaving the house and also while coming back.

Well its true there is delay in god’s house not darkness. I started working making sure that my homework doesn’t get affected. Everybody in the house today is happy and even I am happy and content with my work. I can get the fresh air outside instead of the suffocated atmosphere at home.I can feel the change. I realized how difficult it is for women to survive when she don’t get accepted in her house after marriage.

So, ladies don’t ever lose hope. Be yourself and never allow anyone to mistreat you. You are not born to please everyone.Work for yourself and be independent. It’s not only to earn money and financially independent but also to live according to your own choice. It keeps you updated and you can take your decisions wisely.

I am going to complete seven years of my marriage. A journey of faking relationship but critical to maintain because of the sake of reputation of two families to society.

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