There is a reason why men and women are hesitant to talk about their past. What is buried should remain buried; especially when it is nasty or something that can raise a lot of eyebrows. Lurking somewhere in a closet of our mind is our sexual relationship history, which we fear shouldn’t be shared with our partner-to-be. At least not when you are going to be a part of Indian marriage system and on top of that you are the ideal Indian woman. Ideals of ‘virginity’ and ‘chastity’ and ‘morality’ have always weighed more on women than men. But since women have started contesting for equality, they demand the same from men too. So in the light of this situation, the whole discussion boils down to one statement: How safe is it to let all the cats out of the bag?
I leave you to decide once you have considered all the points.
1. When you letting all your cats out of the bag, including the ones that are nobody else’s business to know, you are taking that first step of trust – which is the bone of every relationship. You are sending the positive vibe that they can trust you too.
2. By sharing your sexual history you also get to know how broad is your partner’s outlook towards women/men and life in general. Do they have the typical ‘Sanskaari’ stereotypes entrenched in their mind? If so, you can either leave them to their stereotypes or help them break it.
3. It will also help your partner to tap into your personality. He/she can easily notice that you are a free thinking individual who is capable of taking her own life decisions.
4. It also helps your partner see how serious you are about your relationship. And they might see it as thumbs-up from your side and take the second step.
5. Sharing something that is intimate about your life is bound to melt anyone. They might end up feeling that they actually mean something to you, even in the brief amount of time you spent. And such discussions can actually bring you closer.
6. If at all you had any inhibitions or insecurity or guilt associated with your past, sharing them out loud for once might relieve you of that burden. You might feel more open and light.
7. Sharing one’s intimate past is in the end a sign of a healthy relationship.
8. Last but not the least, after listening to you, he or she might feel they have actually found a confidant in you and begin their share of sexual history.Published in