It is hard to understand why singlehood is viewed as a pitiful situation or a sad phase. Some of us are not in relationships simply because we love being single and have decided to be that way. There is no point in your life when you need to have a partner because of your age or who you are.
Whether you are in your roaring 20s, divorced and working, or a single mom – you are not required to be in a relationship unless you truly want to be. Relationships are a personal choice and not a social sanction. Currently, I love being single and I shall now tell you why.
Why I Love Being Single
It is an anomaly to love yourself is the prevalent notion, but frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn. I don’t give a damn about the world and I love myself immensely. That is why there are so many rumors about me. It is not that I don’t wish that people had nice things to say about me, but I always weigh the price I will have to pay for it.
And the price for it is pretense. Thus, it is not worth it. I love being single, I am financially independent and emotionally stable. My existence is outrageous. And I am so proud that I have reached such a point all on my own.
I have never believed in romantic love. I think it is eyewash. No two people can selflessly be there for each other. It is always a trade. I trade my body or my persona for the care of someone, every time I commit myself to someone. The first time I was in a relationship, it was rather sour. That’s why my perception is along the lines that being single is better.
Related Reading: Being Single or Getting into a Wrong Relationship?
He only wanted sex
I like being single now and I have my ex-boyfriend to thank for it. The boy, Shubho (let’s call him Shubho, for I don’t really want to reveal his real name) was obsessed with having sex. He always wanted sexual action even when I was not up for it. He made me have sex even when I was sore and bleeding. He made me have sex when I was happy and elated. He was so much into having sex that I had become frigid.
It was tough to break away from him, and we lasted for seven years. But when I did, thanks to a job away from Calcutta, he cheated on me, for he couldn’t live without having sex. I was devastated. He couldn’t stay without sex and I couldn’t stay without commitment.
I became commitment-phobic and have never been able to have a stable relationship after that. In fact, he made me lose faith in romantic love and he made me see the truth. Outside, on my own, I realized that you can stay without a partner, you can stay without family but you can never stay without money.
After this heartbreak, I was not ready to date again, let alone be in a relationship. Since then, I have become very focused on my career. I don’t let any man come between me and my career. I don’t have another soul who I can trust, but I have a lot of money. Few women my age have made it this big and I am proud. One of the benefits of being single is that you can focus on things and people who won’t hurt you.
I can do lust, not love
I attract men. I do. My power and success do. So does my personality. And I use them to satisfy my ego. I have this weird thing; I only date when I feel small and insignificant. I like it when men massage my ego. Men these days love dating an independent woman so they naturally come running to me.
I love being single because every time I’m at a bar and a man tries to hit on me, I enjoy the attention and flirty eyes very much. I like it when they throw themselves on me. I’m not ashamed to admit that I, at times, submit to lust without a drop of love. Even the mushy talk during sex irritates me.
When men try that, I tell them the truth to their faces. They can’t really handle it. That is another reason I like being single. Who wants to be with such spineless men? I love myself more than I love what these men think, that is why I tell them the truth. That is why they make fun of me behind my back.
I have had many men warming my bed in the last few years and all of them had a look and feel about them that confirmed my belief that they too, like Shubho, can’t be committed even if I did commit.
Being single is the best because then you have zero expectations and then there is no worry of being disappointed. I, on the other hand, have not disappointed myself. The best part of being single is that I am self aware enough to satisfy my needs without getting hurt.
Related Reading: These 7 signs show that your man is a commitment-phobe
My parents are worried that I love being single
My father had once registered me on a matrimonial site to look for a suitable groom. I had submitted to his wishes of at least meeting a few. He agreed that he was unable to find one who was comfortable with my pay package after a year’s search. He thankfully didn’t renew the subscription after that.
It was fun shopping for men with my father. My mother is worried she will have to deal with me coming out of the closet as a lesbian. She wonders what will happen to me after they are gone. I don’t worry at all because I have realized that being single is the best.
Everyone is alone. No matter how many people you surround yourself with, you fight your battles yourself at the end of the day. That is the truth. I wonder why people fuss so much about relationships?
I have no friends, for I don’t trust people. I have people I talk to, people I confide in, people who I party with and they are all different. I expect nothing from anyone. I have the perfect boundaries. My relationships are well defined and I have realistic expectations from all.
I don’t go out of my way for anyone either. I work 14 hours a day. I travel to four different countries every month. I own a duplex in one of the best neighborhoods in this city. I even vacation alone and I love it! When my parents fall ill, I will be able to provide for them with the best healthcare in the world and when I fall ill, I will be able to do the same for myself. I have no regrets being single. Trust me, being single is better in so many ways.
(As told to Joie Bose)
Absolutely! Our social conditioning makes us think that we can only be happy with a partner in our arms but that is not necessary. A single lifestyle can bring you the same amount of happiness as a relationship if it suits you. To each their own!
When you are single, you have less expectations and less chances of getting hurt. Moreover, it toughens you up and lets you focus on other things like work and your family.