Single and Dating

She has no regrets being single

She enjoys her successful single life and does not have any regrets that she's not in a committed relationship
Happy single woman smiling

(As told to Joie Bose)

It is an anomaly to love yourself is the general notion, but frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn. I don’t give a damn about the world and I love myself immensely. That is why there are so many rumours about me. It is not that I don’t wish that people had nice things to say about me, but I always weigh the price I will have to pay for it. And the price is, pretence. Thus, it is not worth it. I am single, financially independent and emotionally stable. My existence is outrageous.

I have never believed in romantic love. I think it is eyewash. No two people can selflessly be there for each other. It is always a trade. I trade my body or my persona for the care of someone, every time I commit myself to someone. The first time I was in a relationship, it was rather sour.

He only wanted sex

The boy, Shubho (let’s call him Shubho, for I don’t really want to reveal his real name) was obsessed with having sex. He always wanted sexual action even when I was not up for it. He made me have sex even when I was sore and bleeding. He made me have sex when I was happy and elated. He was so much into having sex that I had become frigid.

It was tough to break away from him, and we lasted for seven years. But when I did, thanks to a job away from Calcutta, he cheated on me, for he couldn’t live without having sex. I was devastated. He couldn’t stay without sex and I couldn’t stay without commitment.

man and woman in bed

Related reading: How to break up with partner when you live together?

I became commitment phobic and I have never been able to have a stable relationship after that. In fact, he made me lose faith in romantic love and he made me see the truth. Outside, on my own, I realised that you can stay without a partner, you can stay without family but you can never stay without money. Since then I have become very focused about my career. I don’t let any man come between me and my career. I don’t have another soul who I can trust, but I have a lot of money. Few women my age have made it this big.

I can do lust, not  love

I attract men. I do. My power and success does. And I use them to satisfy my ego. I have this weird thing; I only date when I feel small. I like it when men massage my ego.

I like it when they throw themselves on me. I’m not ashamed to admit that I, at times, submit to lust without a drop of love. Even the so-called mushy love talk during sex irritates me. When men try that, I tell them the truth to their face. They can’t really handle it. I love myself more than I love what these men think, that is why I tell them the truth. That is why they make fun of me behind my back.

sad beautiful lady
Image source

I have had many men warming my bed in the last few years and all of them had a look and feel about them that confirmed my belief that they too, like Shubho, can’t be committed even if I did commit. I, on the other hand, have not disappointed myself.

Related reading: These 7 signs show that your man is a commitment-phobe

My parents worried about me being single

My father had once registered me on a matrimonial site to look for a suitable groom. I had submitted to his wishes of at least meeting a few. He agreed that he was unable to find one who was comfortable with my pay package after a year’s search. He thankfully didn’t renew the subscription after that. It was fun man shopping with my father. My mother wonders if I am a closet lesbian. She wonders what will happen to me after they are gone. I don’t worry.

single and dating

Everyone is alone. That is the truth. I wonder why people fuss so much about relationships?

I have no friends, for I don’t trust people. I have people I talk to, people I confide in, people who I party with and they are all different. I expect nothing from anyone. I don’t go out of my way for anyone either. I work 14 hours a day. I travel to four different countries every month. I own a duplex in one of the best destinations of this city. I vacation alone. When my parents fall ill, I will be able to provide for them with the best healthcare in the world and when I fall ill, I will be able to do the same for myself. I have no regrets being single. Trust me, it’s a blessing.

 

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2 Comments

  1. If you get one creepy soul just worried about sex that doesn’t mean love is dead( if even after taking out his thing the guy is interested in you and make love, thats something beyond sex ) if out of your wish he is forcing you for sex thats just a rape and if you allow that so don’t think yourself as victim.
    There are lot of healthy and great relations out there who literally are devoted for each other “they think of their partner first” and its of-course not about sex, down the line 20 year from now the beauty will fade away ,they body will be full or wrinkles and that time only love will survive.

    Of -course every one have post breakup situation, some people drink, some people date lot of persons ,some even become detached to the materialist world, that what i guess you are in to (i know my perception won’t bother you) but that is just a temporary thing.

    About salary and guy who matches your profile and status then i believe you are doing the same mistake which guys have been doing from ages.

    Gender discrimination or biased i would say “if girl is not earning well that ok for getting married why not say for the guy/or if girl is earning much better then that shouldn’t bother girl as well.

    Its good to be indepanted irrespective of gender and same time its good to find love in people place things or even God and self love is always there as human being we are the most selfish creature of the planet.

  2. If you get one creepy soul just worried about sex that doesn’t mean love is dead( if event after taking out his thing the guy is interested in you and make love ) if out of your wish he is forcing you for sex thats just a rape and if you allow that so don’t think yourself as victim.
    There are lot of healthy and great relations out there who literally are devoted for each other “they think of their partner first” and its of-course not about sex, down the line 20 year from now the beauty will fade away ,they body will be full or wrinkles and that time only love will survive.

    Of -course every one have post breakup situation, some people drink, some people date lot of persons ,some even become detached to the materialist world, that what i guess you are in to (i know my perception won’t bother you) but that is just a temporary thing.

    About salary and guy who matches your profile and status then i believe you are doing the same mistake which guys have been doing from ages.

    Gender discrimination or biased i would say “if girl is not earning well that ok for getting married why not say for the guy/or if girl is earning much better then that shouldn’t bother girl as well.

    Its good to be indepanted irrespective of gender and same time its good to find love in people place things or even God and self love is always there as human being we are the most selfish creature of the planet.

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