Counselling

She is ‘single’ but has male friends, what kind of girl is she? Will she make a good wife?

When I told her having so many male friends is not good, she blocked me on social media
man sitting on sofa and thinking

Question:

Hello Ma’am,

What does it mean if a girl mentions her relationship status on FB as ‘single’, but then has many boys as friends (in real life) and is mostly seen hanging out with male friends? When I talk to her about her having any boyfriend(s), she said, “Nowadays having a boyfriend is something very trivial”. What should I presume or interpret about this girl? I used to guide her that all this is not good but then she blocked me on Facebook and everywhere.

Is she a happy-go-lucky type girl? Or is she keeping her status ‘single’ to fool people? Or is it that when she says boyfriends, she means boys who are her friends (only friendships, no emotional or romantic tie-ups and no sexual relationships)? Or is she confused? Also she went on a foreign holiday with some other guys, to nearby countries. I don’t know if it was for holiday or work or maybe they have sex also. What kind of a girl is she? How do I understand her?

When my roommate calls her up to say Hi, she asks about me and my health. So is she being polite or is she interested in me? My phone number she has blocked. I also want to know whether such a type of girl will make a good wife or not?

Relationship counselling

Snigdha Mishra says:

Dear Boy,

It seems quite clear that this girl is not interested in you. So, if your question is specifically about her then please lay off, because she certainly doesn’t want you in her life. Please respect her no.

Coming to your question [restrict] whether such a girl can make a good wife. I think it’s important that you realise that people have the right to live their lives the way they want. A woman has the right to live her life the way she wants, just like a man does. If you don’t like the lifestyle, you can most certainly choose not to have it.

Learn to accept and respect people for who they are without judgement. You have your lifestyle and others have theirs. No one is forcing you to have a girlfriend or a boyfriend. No one is forcing you to be with this girl either. So why are you after her if you don’t like her life choices? She has nothing to do with you.

What I can advise you, is to have an open mind and not to judge people. Should a girl marry you because you have had a past? Should a girl reject you because you are a virgin or vice versa? How would you interpret a boy who has many girls as his friends? Can people not be friends with each other? How is it your business who sleeps with whom? How is it your business who goes on vacations with whom?

Please be open to new ideas and people. You may not like their choices, but that doesn’t mean you have to value judge people. You will be amazed to see how many new relationships and friends you can make when you accept people for who they are, even when they may not be like you.

All the best!
Snigdha

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