Counselling

Should I leave my husband since our sex life is zero?

No medicine is working on his erectile dysfunction and he is anyway not interested in sex
Woman awake in bed

Dear Ma’am,

I am a 29-year-old married woman, but my husband and I, we don’t have a sex life at all. I can say that in my 6 years of our marriage life we have had sex for just six months. He says he is not interested, but I can feel that he also has an erectile disorder for which no treatment is working. I tried talking to my husband so many times I don’t know what else is left for me to do. Also, now we are facing pressure to start a family but how can we have children with zero sex life? Is this normal? I’m having sexual relationships with another man now. Should I leave my husband? I’m confused.

Relationship counselling

Related reading: Sexless marriage – Is there any hope?

Dr Avani Tiwari says:

Dear Confused,

The first thing that you must do it to talk to your husband regarding this with an open mind. Try to understand if not having sex after an initial 6 months of normal sex life, is this deliberate or is he facing some kind of problem. Discuss honestly with him your needs and expectations. Convince him that you will be happy to see him through treatment, provided he makes a genuine commitment to it.
Also, I must add here that your satisfaction does not depend on your husband’s ability to have penetrative intercourse. Do not use that as an excuse for your affair. You need to examine if your relationship lacks respect, love and enthusiasm, apart from the sex. If so, then it’s time to get professional help for that as well.

All the best,
Avani

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1 Comment

  1. I think this girl should leave the marriage, if he is a good soul he will initiate that process. They have a choice of being good friends etc. Without sex she is being punished for no fault of her own. My recommendation is leave asap. Her having an affair has no bearing on this advice.

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