Question: I am in love with someone for one year. He is very nice. We have been trying to convince our parents to accept our relationship for the past nine months, but there is no progress. They are not going to accept him as he is of a different caste. Now they have started searching for an alliance for me and are forcing me to marry. I’m confused. Should I take a stand and just go marry the man I love or should I think of my parent’s respect in society and do as they say. Both are very risky to me. I don’t know what would be the after-effects of my elopement (for which my guy is ready to support in all ways possible) or if I listen to my parents will I be doing justice to the marriage as I will not be able to face myself again. What would be your advice? Which risk is affordable?
Answer: It is a complicated situation. I can understand your concerns. You are in a dicey situation. I can’t really comment on which situation is better to choose or as you asked which “risk is affordable”.
What I can tell you is that compatibility, love, respect and trust go a long way in building a relationship and bond. If you have found those in your relationship with your current partner, what is the point of even looking elsewhere? Sometimes parents can be difficult and they attach respect and value to certain norms which may hold no importance at all for you. It is up to you to decide what is more important to you.
If caste etc. really mattered to you, you wouldn’t have chosen to marry this boy. Do not go against your personal value system to please anyone, even if they are your parents. These are values you hold dear to you and are non-dogmatic and are not harmful to anyone. You deserve the love and respect that your partner showers on you.
However, are you both financially and emotionally ready to commit to marriage? If yes, then being adults you don’t really need anyone’s permission to marry. Not even your parents. Maybe you can tell your parents either you will marry this guy or no one else.
All the best