Should I tell my fiance’ about my ex?

by Prachi Vaish
Future Planning

Question:

Would it be okay to tell my fiancé about my ex?

Related reading: My new wife lied about past physical affairs. Should I separate or stay?

Relationship counselling

Prachi Vaish says:

Even though we have always been taught that ‘honesty is the [restrict] best policy’, sometimes when it comes to relationships, ‘diplomacy’ is the best policy. Look at it this way. Even though your fiancé will be curious (that’s a natural human reaction), what do you actually gain by telling him about your ex? Absolutely nothing. Instead, what you’ll end up doing is giving him emotional fodder to conjure up images of you and your ex together, an uncontrollable desire to compare himself wondering every time if you shared such a moment with your ex too, and no matter how cool he plays it, he’ll always hate it that you were someone else’s before him – need we say more?

Talking about exes is never a good idea and that should be the thumb rule in a relationship. If you cannot lie about their existence, simply say “Yes, I had a short phase with someone but it never amounted to anything and I realised I never really felt anything for him” and finish it at that, no matter how much your fiancé digs. Stick to this story!

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