Counselling

How do I show my love to a married man, when he has a loving wife?

he is just using me for sex and not letting me go with another man either. What do I do?
close up of a pretty girl

Question:

Hello ma’am,

I am having an affair with a married man, he has a loyal wife and 2 children. He fell in love with me 2.5 years ago. His marriage is 12 years old. When we first met, he told me that though I have a family I have my own life too. But now when I ask him about our future, he says he can’t leave his family, because of his kids. I understand that and I accept it… but he wants sex and he wants me to stay with him on his terms. His wife is aware of our relationship. I have stopped having sex with him because I think he wants only that from me. When I ask what about my life, he says that he has thought of something. But he won’t leave his family. Even if I accept that, he treats me badly. I had one relationship in between, after the first 6 months, but he ruined that by telling the other man that I had slept with him and that I was a prostitute. Though that guy fought for me then, but he didn’t accept me back! 🙁 because it is obvious that nobody wants a person like me.

When I ask him, if you can’t leave your family, then you have to take a decision, he snaps and says, “What do you want me to do?” He knows he is doing wrong. He asks me whether I can live without him. This is not done. Once in anger he said, “Fine! I choose my wife”. But then, for days later he blamed me for everything. He doesn’t accept my past either. He sleeps with his wife also, when I ask him about it, he says “I have needs”. I just want a life and not to be someone’s sex slave. If I say I will leave him he calls me ‘dhokebaaz’. He makes me believe that I am wrong. I don’t know for what I am wrong. He says he will stay 3 days with his wife and 3 days with me in few years. Now we both don’t have a stand for staying. His wife fought with me and also said bad things for my parents. That hurt me a lot. He says his wife told him to tell me to not eat her head. He also blames me and compares me with his wife and tell me that she is very nice.

I am really feeling screwed. How do I show love when he has a loving wife?

relationship counselling

Related reading: A guide on why women should not shy away from sex

Prachi Vaish says:

What have you got yourself into, my girl? My heart goes out to you

Please Register for further access. Takes just 20 seconds :)!

Why accepting a date is NOT an invitation to rape

I cheated on my loving husband and am thinking of continuing the affair

consult here native

Facebook Comments

3 Comments

  1. I’m also suffering from the same situation the man first makes me fall in love and now is saying I love my wife too she is a nicest person now he has a baby when I talk to him he said I have my other responsibilities too why you always bother me talk regularly I will do marry to you but we will not reveal it to the society I love him badly though I know that will not get anything in return but still not able to forget him since he never misbehaved with he seems to be caring and always keep on saying that I will take permission from your family without telling them the exact situation and everything will be fine in 1_ 2 of marriage that everyone will accepts us

  2. Hey Girl you know that you been screwed up & that’s a fact ,get it into your head , first of all when you knew the guy is married & having a family you should have step back . I feel pitty on you coz now you have “feelings” for a man who can’t be yours & he is all settled with his family even after ditching his wife, Girl it’s painful for any wife to know the fact that her Man is having an affair with another woman ,you better buzz off from their life coz you can have No future with him , his wife & kids would hate you. You are in a mess no doubts,my suggestion is to leave him without even telling him & just don’t listen to his words like “Dokhebaaz” bla bla ,am not saying he is right any where , that man too is a big jerk , but believe me leaving him will save your life for a better future .

  3. This girl knows she’s screwed up her own life and also that wife’s life. How can one pity her ? She knew what she got into, and she still feels used ??

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may also enjoy:

Yes No