If you are still confused about whether your partner really loves you, even though you’ve been with him for a while, then you are not alone. Is he romantic and caring one moment but pulls back from you for no valid reason in another? Does this erratic behavior make you wonder if and why you’re together at all? You might feel uncomfortable because your boyfriend still hasn’t shown any signs he will eventually commit, and you’re worried he’s still interested in dating other women.
Erica, a 27-year-old reader from Phoenix, shares with us, “How do I know if my boyfriend is ready to commit to me? Sometimes, I see signs he will finally commit to the relationship and sometimes, I feel he loves someone else.” Are such concerns running in your mind? If you, too, are unable to read your boyfriend’s behavior, we are here with the answers you need.
12 Signs He Will Eventually Commit
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So you’ve been in a relationship with this guy for a few months, or years, and he’s really nice to you. It feels like a fairy tale really. He is there for you whenever you need him, takes care of you and brings over some soup when you’re sick, and listens to you when you’re upset. However, there is one little problem. Like many guys, he too gets awkward or distances himself from you when it comes to talking or thinking about being in a committed relationship. You’re wondering if he wants to date you exclusively.
Unless you’re in an on-again-off-again relationship, you need to know if your partner really loves you and wants to take things further. So what are the signs he is committed to you? What makes a man commit and fall in love? Some say a man in love will commit immediately when he finds a woman he can trust and is deeply in love with. But commitment is scary for most people in this day and age. There could be several reasons behind the hesitation to go all in.
And in most cases, it could take a while to establish a long-term relationship. If this state of not knowing where you stand is making you impatient or restless, let us put your mind to rest. Here are 12 signs he will definitely commit to you:
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1. He prioritizes spending time with you
If your partner really loves you and feels ready to commit, he will make you his top priority and that is one of the promising signs that a man is willing to commit to you for the long haul. He will want to be around you and spend as much time as he can with you. He will take initiative and follow through with plans, and makes time for you even if his schedule is busy. He will make you an important part of his life, take out time for you, and be there for you whenever you need him.
He will show his love and affection toward you through small but special gestures – Buying your favorite flowers, cooking your favorite meal, taking care of you when you’re sick, or making a note of your likes and dislikes. He will make an effort to know you and carve a space for himself in your heart. He will try to build an emotional connection with you instead of showing off expensive gifts or his material wealth.
2. Signs he will eventually commit — He’s attentive to your needs, interests, and goals
This is one of the biggest signs he wants to be committed to you. When a guy is in love and really cares about you, he will pay close attention to your dreams and passions, your hobbies and interests. If you’re asking your friends “Is he committed to me?”, then think about how much of an effort he makes in getting to know you.
When he really wants you for the long haul, he will carefully listen to your problems and concerns and be patient and supportive during tough times. He will make you feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable and share your feelings with him, and will stay by your side giving you a shoulder to lean on.
3. He’s reliable and keeps his promises
Will he ever commit? He might if you’ve known him to be someone you can count on, because one of the signs he will commit to you is that he is serious about keeping the promises he made to you. He is reliable and doesn’t disappear on you in times of need. This is a big sign that he is a total keeper.
He will not leave you hanging if you’re in trouble. He will not cancel plans last minute or keep you waiting. He doesn’t want to mess it up with you because he truly loves you and might just be ready to commit. You’re important to him and he will make every effort to be there for you whenever you need him.
4. He’s honest with you about his feelings
If a guy is honest with you, know that it is one of the most important signs he wants to commit and you really don’t need a relationship expert to tell you this one. It is difficult for most guys to be honest about their feelings and that can often cause complications in a relationship. But if your guy is consciously making an effort to talk to you about the tricky inner stuff, know that he is comfortable around you and feels safe with you. He trusts you to not leave him after seeing him at his lowest self. It is one of the most common signs he is committed to you.
Also, if a guy is vulnerable around you, it means that he is not scared of being real with you. So he might just put everything out there and share why he is scared of commitment. He will mean whatever he says. No lies. In fact, if your partner really loves you, he will find it difficult to lie to you. It’s one of the signs he will definitely commit to you at some point. Just listen to his fears without judging him. Have faith that he is considering a future with you.
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5. He’s willing to talk about the future
If this is true, then it is just a matter of time until he asks you to be in a serious relationship with him. You might notice your boyfriend using a lot of “we” in his statements, initiating or participating in conversations about the future, or marriage and kids. This willingness to talk about the future is one of the biggest signs he’s in it for the long haul.
If he didn’t see potential in the relationship and wasn’t comfortable enough with you, he would shy away from having this difficult conversation. Trust us, if a guy is not ready to commit, he wouldn’t be talking long-term with you. This is why you need to watch out for such random conversations. Then you’ll know he is not scared of commitment.
6. Signs he will eventually commit — He introduces you to his friends and family
Will he commit or not? Well, if he has introduced you to his friends and family already, then that is a good sign he is ready to be exclusive with you. After all, it takes a lot for a person to introduce someone they love to their friends, family, and inner circle.
If he introduces you as his partner to those that matter to him, it’s one of the biggest and most obvious signs he wants to commit. He will want his loved ones to know all about you. He sees a future with you and he wants everyone to know that he is committed to you for good, even if he may not have said so in as many words yet.
7. He meets your family and friends
When your partner loves you, he won’t shy away from meeting your friends and family and this is one of the clearest signs that he is ready to be in a real relationship with you. He will make an effort to:
- Know them
- Get along with them
- Impress them
- And come across as likable
It’s his way of showing that he loves you. You never know, he might just be hanging around with them on a regular basis. If he’s doing all of these things, know that it’s one of the signs he is committed to you. What does this say about him exactly, you may ask?
- It shows that he wants to stick around long-term, not just with you but also as part of your extended circle
- He wants to know more about you and a major part of that includes knowing the people who matter the most to you
- It shows that he wants to be an integral part of your life
- He wants to know what makes you the person you are
8. Signs he is committed to you: He shares his dreams with you
Will he ever commit to being in a secure relationship with you? If he shares his dreams, passion, and other important things with you, it’s one of the signs that he is ready to commit to the relationship. Other men don’t just talk about their aspirations and life experiences with everyone. For them, it’s usually too personal and sensitive a thing to share and if he is talking to you about it, there is a good chance he thinks you’re wife material at this point.
If he discusses his personal development goals or details about his past relationships with you, it means that he trusts you and feels at home with you. It’s one of the sure-shot signs he shall commit. He’s not afraid of being vulnerable around you, and doesn’t worry too much about showing off his hero instinct. In fact, he actually wants you to feel needed in his life.
9. He constantly stays in touch
This is one of the more subtle signs he wants to be serious with you. Communication is important for a relationship to thrive. When your partner really loves you and wants to commit to the relationship, he will make every effort to communicate with you on a regular basis. If he always takes your calls and replies to your messages instantly or within a few minutes, it’s a sign that he is really into you and is serious about your future together.
A few flirty or romantic texts throughout the day, a couple of phone calls, or “I love you” and “I miss you” messages are considered normal and healthy in a relationship. If your man never gets tired of talking to you and is usually available to hang out with you, then it’s a sign that he wants to commit to you.
Related Reading: When You Know It’s Time To Break Up
10. He values your views and opinions
One of the most important signs he is committed to you is that he really cares about what you think or have to say. He values your views, opinions, and choices.
- He seeks your advice on important matters pertaining to his life
- He wants to know your thoughts before he makes a decision
- He pays attention to what you have to say, and remembers it
- He learns from you and tells you that quite often
11. He is more accountable to you
Remember there used to be a point where you would wait all day for his reply with bated breath? And he would only send you a boring reel in the middle of the night to start a conversation without telling you where he was all day. You’d be left feeling disappointed. You’d want to ask him why he hadn’t called you all day, but you couldn’t because you just weren’t that close. Yes, that is usually the initial phase of a situationship where two people might be in love, but aren’t entirely committed to each other.
Well, now, things have changed. If he’s at a dinner with his coworkers, he now lets you know that he is going to be out late and that you shouldn’t wait up for his call. Suddenly, you are the only person that constantly knows where he is, what he’s doing, and why he may not be talking to you. This is a huge sign that the man is ready to go all the way with you and wants you to be his significant other.
12. There is no push and pull
The uncertainty that you used to feel about how much this man likes you, has now subsided. Even though you are not sure if he wants to commit to you or not, you are still at peace knowing that he loves you wholeheartedly. He doesn’t joke about seeing other people anymore, barely brings up his ex in conversations, and loves spending time with you whenever he has a chance.
The push and pull you felt earlier from having a great breakfast date with him in the morning but then noticing a girl comment something flirty under one of his pictures, doesn’t bother you at all anymore. He does not even joke about you meeting other guys, something he used to do earlier to pretend like it did not bother him. Even though he hasn’t verbally talked about being with you yet, it basically feels like you’re committed in a million subtle ways. A conversation about the same is probably about to ensue.
How does a man decide to commit? Here are our final thoughts on men and when they are considering committing to you. It is really not rocket science.
- If your boyfriend is deeply in love with you, he will leave no stone unturned to show that he loves you through his body language. He shows that he wants only you through his behavior and actions
- If things go wrong or both of you have been fighting quite a bit lately, he will make the effort to clear the misunderstandings and sort things out
- Men express emotions differently than women. They need time. They might not be as open about it as women, but that doesn’t mean they love you any less
- You will have to be patient and, until then, practice lots of self-love so you don’t feel too bothered by any of it
- If he is willing to talk about the future with you, it’s a sign he will commit to you
- If he is ready to commit, he will introduce you to his family and friends and show interest in meeting yours
- A guy, who has decided he wants to be in a serious relationship, will share his dreams, passions, and goals with you. He will be honest with you about his feelings
- He will value your opinions and ask for advice before taking important decisions
According to a study, it takes about six months or 172 days for a man to know that he wants to commit to a relationship and make such a decision. He wants to know his partner better and be able to trust them before making such a huge decision. They typically take about six months or so to figure out if the person they are with is ‘the one.’
There are several signs to show whether he’ll ever commit. If he wants to be around you, stays in touch when you’re apart, cares about your views and opinions, introduces you to his friends and family, is reliable, and pays attention to your needs, know that these are signs he will commit to you.
If he doesn’t see a future with you, he will not make an effort to know or understand you better. He will not want to meet your friends and family, won’t bother too much about your needs and desires, and will not speak of a future together. He will not be vulnerable in front of you and could go days without talking to you.