Hey! So, here’s a quick question. Have you ever considered testing your guy to see if he really loves you? Signs his love is not real or he is forcing himself to love you are not easy to recognize. With the fairy-tale endings of ‘happily ever after’ living in our heads rent-free, we somehow allow the butterflies in our belly to overpower our judgment while entering a new relationship.
Why would someone pretend to love you? How can you tell if a guy is faking love? Obvious questions like these are bound to cross your mind while looking for signs his love is not real. And like everything else today, you can find the answers to it on the internet. Every social media platform is filled with people showcasing their life and relationships as normal, functional, and perfect in the eyes of their followers. This urge to have a perfect lovey-dovey relationship in the eyes of the world might force a guy to love you even when he isn’t actually in love with you.
9 Signs That Say His Love Is Not Real
Deciding to test a guy to see if he really loves you is quite easy. But signs his love is not real are not that easy to recognize. Understanding your partner’s true intentions when you are blindfolded by the overwhelming feelings of love requires you to evaluate the situation rationally and dispassionately. All the dreamy dates and steamy nights may perhaps feel surreal until the day you realize that you have been tricked into a fake relationship.
Signs his love is not real are encoded in his habits and the way he behaves around you. A real relationship might not be picture-perfect and may require a lot of time and effort on both sides. Irrespective of the hardships and effort, real relationships are way better than fake ones, which more often than not are pretentious and mostly forged for society’s approval.
If you want to steer clear of such hollow connections that do not add any value to your life, look out for signs his love is not real when you test a guy to see if he really loves you:
1. Can’t keep his eyes on you
Eyes are the mirror of the soul and reflect everything that seems to be hidden. If your partner has wandering eyes, then my advice to you would be to wear that Sherlock hat and dig deeper into his past. If you catch him checking out every other “pretty” girl he sees, then there are chances that he has a nasty habit of getting in and out of a relationship whenever he comes across someone better.
He might be flirting with one woman today and lurk over another woman tomorrow. He may try to convince you of his feelings with stupid excuses without giving up his habit of flirting and checking out other women. Only physical appearances and attractiveness might matter to him and he might be in a relationship with you only till you are young and attractive according to him.
One of the signs his love is fading and he has someone else in his mind is that there isn’t an emotional connection between the two of you even after you’ve engaged in an intimate sexual act. He would have loved the sex but there are chances that he doesn’t love you and might seem a bit distant and aloof during and after your time in bed. This might be one of the signs he never loved you and was in the relationship only because he found you to be attractive before he met someone new.
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2. Understanding he never loved you after a breakup
Relationships go through a lot and there are good and bad phases in every relationship. But if you notice that after a bad phase things between you and your partner have changed significantly, then you must look out for signs his love is not real and he is just pretending to get back together due to some ulterior motives.
If you went through a rough patch and after sorting out things between the two of you, he doesn’t seem to be himself, then there are high chances that thi s is one of the signs he never loved you after the breakup. In such situations, there could be hidden motives behind his decision to get back together with you, and obviously, love not being one of them.
Communication is the basis of all relationships and when he doesn’t pay attention to what you say, it is a definite sign that the patch-up was not what you thought it was. Not being interested in your life and dismissing your concerns and problems without giving it a second thought is one of the primary signs his love is not real. He might act distant or aloof and not care about your feelings anymore. He might no longer acknowledge your presence and might not be attentive when you try to discuss something important.
3. Excessive or no display of affection in public
While searching for signs he never loved you, love or aversion toward displaying affection in public might be a tricky sign to understand. The complete absence of public display of affection is as alarming as an excessive one.
Curiously, an excessive display of affection might indicate compensatory behavior. It can be a way of maintaining an illusion of a healthy and loving relationship in front of others. This usually stems from a need to cover up the absence of love by an unnecessary show of affection.
One of the signs he is forcing himself to love you is that he is much kinder to you when you both are around people. You might observe a change in his behavior when you are around your friends or other people in general. You might notice that he only gets angry or rude once you are in your personal space. In your alone time, he may get mad about things that he didn’t react to when you were in a public place. This is a sign his love is not real and is just a façade to hide his true feelings.
On the other hand, when a relationship is real and normal, people usually enjoy introducing their partners to their friends and family. Yet, one of the signs he is faking his love is if he does not introduce you to his friends or family or refuses to display his affection in public. In a fake relationship, your partner might not want to hold hands or share a kiss in public.
Related Reading: 9 Expert Tips To Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself After Breakup
4. Mood swings
My friend once told me that she sometimes feels that her boyfriend has a split personality. She asked, “Why would someone pretend to love you one day and hate you the very next day?” She said that her boyfriend found some of her habits cute one day, and lashed out at her about the same habits the other day.
A person cannot live a lie forever and sooner or later the mask is bound to fall off. In a fake relationship, you might notice that your partner might experience a weird amount of mood swings. He may frequently change his mind about dinner reservations, date nights, or any other plans that you initiate. His mood swings might drive his decision, and he might not show any concern or respect for you and your choices.
He may delay or cancel plans made by you while expecting you to agree and adjust with his schedules almost every time. This might stem from the guilt that forces him to cover up signs he never loved you in reality. These mood swings can cause mental as well as physical traumas and are one of the most dangerous signs that point out his fake love.
Related Reading: 18 Ways To Show Someone You Care
5. He pretends to love you through text
Why would someone pretend to love you through texts is an interesting question. In fake relationships, your partner would tend to lie to you more often. Dishonesty might become his second character and he might compulsively lie to you about everything.
This lack of transparency is one of the signs he never loved you truly. Sending thousands of romantic text messages and emojis while bailing out on physical one-to-one plans is one of the most important signs he never loved you and is just pretending to love you.
He may be comfortable expressing his love over the phone but saying the same things in person might make him anxious or uncomfortable. He might cover up the facts to look more rich, happy, or successful than you or would avoid sharing his realities or past with you. He might deceive you or trick you to believe in false stories to cover up his mistakes and pretend to love you even when he has no real feelings for you.
6. Is envious of others in your life
When your partner has ulterior motives and his heart is devoid of real love for you, he might develop feelings of envy or jealousy. And dealing with envy or jealousy in relationships is an exhausting and burdensome task. He may feel uncomfortable when you get too close to other people in your life and might feel like you are slipping away from his grip.
These feelings give rise to unnecessary manipulations and trickery as he may want to tear you apart from other people. All this deception due to his urge to have you exclusively for himself may lead to an unhealthy or toxic relationship. His intervention in your relationship with other people can frustrate you, and in the worst case, leave a mental scar for life.
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7. Doesn’t put in the effort – gives up easily
Fake love cannot withstand the tests of time and adversities. If your partner throws in the towel as soon as you encounter a fight or any sort of inconvenience in your relationship, then it might be one of those glaring signs his love is fading or he never loved you at all since the beginning of your relationship.
All relationships demand effort from both the participants. But when you realize that you are the only one putting in the effort, it becomes clear that the other person does not have any real feelings for you. Such relationships are usually one-sided and there is, more often than not, a lack of mutual trust and respect between the two.
8. You never discuss the future
All real relationships are based on the hope that your love will never fade and would probably last a lifetime. However, no matter how free-spirited and impromptu a person is, talking about his future with you is an important test that can prove his honest intentions and love for you.
Try discussing future plans with him and if you notice him getting irritated or uninterested, probably, he is not in for a long-term relationship and this bond is just a fling – without any feelings of love.
Not being ready for a long-term relationship is absolutely normal, provided both the parties in the relationship are aware of the facts. But if you are not too sure about where you stand, then this test will help you clear your relationship situation.
9. His actions are not consistent with his words
Recently, my cousin opened up to me about her relationship, and said, “He says he loves me but I don’t think so.” Consistency of character lays down the foundation of trust in a relationship. If he repeatedly says or does something, there are high chances of you trusting his words and actions.
However, if he constantly changes what he says and does not honor his words, it is a glaring red sign that his love is fake. If he tells you he loves you but you still feel that he is trying to hurt or disrespect you, it is the most prominent sign of all signs he never loved you, or his pretentious love is fading away. You need to be on the look-out for the signs that suggest that he does not respect you.
Signs his love is not real are always in front of you. But it requires observation and an unbiased approach to identify them. Even in movies, there is no ‘true love’ without a bit of drama surrounding it. But identifying fake love in real life might be the biggest challenge of all time. If you do decide to test a guy to see if he really loves you, these tell-tale indicators would probably help you identify the signs his love is not real.