Do you want to know the signs his love is not real? So here’s a quick question: Have you ever considered testing your guy to see if he really loves you? Signs his love is not real or whether he’s forcing himself to love you are not always easy to recognize. With the fairy-tale endings of “happily ever after” living in our heads rent-free, we often allow the butterflies in our belly to overpower our judgment while entering a new relationship.
Why would someone pretend to love you? How can you tell if a guy is faking love? Obvious questions like these are bound to cross your mind when looking for signs his love is not real. And like everything else today, you can find the answers on the internet. Every social media platform is filled with people showcasing their life and relationships as normal, functional, and perfect in the eyes of their followers. This urge to have a perfect lovey-dovey relationship in the eyes of the world could be one of the reasons that force a guy to love you even when he isn’t actually in love with you.
Whatever the reason or justification he may be using to pretend-love you, you deserve better. To make sure you don’t end up investing your all in a dead-end relationship built on fake feelings, we’re here to help you identify the signs his love is not real.
9 Signs That Say His Love Is Not Real
Deciding to test a guy to see if he really loves you is quite easy. But signs his love is not real are not that easy to recognize. Understanding your partner’s true intentions when you are blinded by the overwhelming feelings of love requires you to evaluate the situation rationally and dispassionately. All the dreamy dates and steamy nights may perhaps feel surreal until the day you realize that you have been tricked into a fake relationship.
Signs his love is not real can be spotted in his habits and the way he behaves around you. A real relationship might not be picture-perfect and may require a lot of time and effort on both sides. Irrespective of the hardships and effort, real relationships are way better than fake ones, which more often than not are pretentious and mostly forged for society’s approval.
Does he really love me or is he playing? Do you often find yourself asking this question? If the answer is yes and you want to steer clear of such hollow connections that do not add any value to your life, you must be able to recognize the signs his love is not real.
1. Can’t keep his eyes on you
The eyes are the mirror of the soul and reflect everything that seems to be otherwise hidden. If your partner has wandering eyes, then my advice to you would be to wear that Sherlock hat and dig deeper into his past. If you catch him checking out every other “pretty” girl he sees, chances are that he has a nasty habit of getting in and out of a relationship whenever he comes across someone better.
He might be flirting with one woman today and move over to another woman tomorrow. He may try to convince you of his feelings with lame excuses without giving up his habit of flirting and checking out other women. Only physical appearances and attractiveness might matter to him and he might be in a relationship with you because you are young and attractive to him. You might feel cheap and objectified in such a relationship and this is not how real love feels.
One of the indications his love is fading and he has someone else in his mind is that there aren’t signs of emotional connection between you two even in your most intimate moments. He would have loved the sex but chances are that he doesn’t love you and might seem a bit distant and aloof during and after your time in bed. This might be one of the signs he never loved you and was in the relationship only because he found you attractive. That is likely to change when he meets someone new and more attractive.
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2. Understanding he never loved you after a breakup
Relationships go through a lot and there are good and bad phases in every relationship. But if you notice that after a bad phase, things between you and your partner have changed significantly, then you must look out for signs his love is not real and he is just pretending to get back together due to some ulterior motives. You must also keep an eye out for signs you are begging for love, which might make it easier to use you.
If you went through a rough patch and after sorting things out, he doesn’t seem to be himself, then this could be one of the signs he never loved you after the breakup. In such situations, there could be hidden motives behind his decision to get back together with you, and obviously, love not being one of them. In such a case, you must be on the lookout for signs he is forcing himself to love you and doesn’t actually love you.
Communication is the basis of all relationships and if he doesn’t pay attention to what you say anymore, it could be a definite sign that the patch-up was not what you thought it was. Not being interested in your life and dismissing your concerns and problems without giving them a second thought is one of the primary signs his love is not real. He might act distant or aloof and not care about your feelings anymore. He might no longer acknowledge your presence and might not be attentive when you try to discuss something important.
3. Excessive or no display of affection in public
While searching for signs he never loved you, love or aversion toward displaying affection in public might be a tricky sign to understand. The complete absence of public display of affection is as alarming as excessive indulgence. Curiously, an excessive display of affection might indicate compensatory behavior. It can be a way of maintaining an illusion of a healthy and loving relationship in front of others. This usually stems from a need to cover up the absence of love with an unnecessary show of affection.
One of the signs he is forcing himself to love you is that he is much kinder to you when you both are around people. You might observe a change in his behavior when you are around your friends or other people in general. You might notice that he only gets angry or rude once you are in your personal space. In your alone time, he may get mad about things that he didn’t react to when you were in a public place. This is a sign his love is not real and is just a façade to hide his true feelings.
On the other hand, when a relationship is real and normal, people usually enjoy introducing their partners to their friends and family. Yet, one of the signs he is faking his love is if he does not introduce you to his friends or family or refuses to display his affection in public. In a fake relationship, your partner might not want to hold hands or share a kiss in public. Make sure that this is not a case where you’re forcing a relationship, which is why he has to pretend to love you back. And if not so, make sure to confront him before it’s too late.
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4. Mood swings
My friend once told me that she sometimes feels that her boyfriend has a split personality. She asked, “Why would someone pretend to love you one day and hate you the very next day?” She said that her boyfriend found some of her habits cute one day, and lashed out at her about the same habits the next. These can be a part of the signs he faked it when in a relationship because he never loved his partner in the first place.
A person cannot live a lie forever and sooner or later the mask is bound to fall off. In a fake relationship, you might notice that your partner might experience a weird amount of mood swings. He may frequently change his mind about dinner reservations, date nights, or any other plans that you initiate. His mood swings might drive his decision, and he might not show any concern or respect for you and your choices.
He may delay or cancel plans unilaterally while expecting you to agree and adjust with his schedules almost every time. This might stem from the guilt that forces him to cover up signs he never loved you in reality. These mood swings can cause mental as well as physical traumas and are one of the most dangerous signs that point out his fake love. If he is too inconsistent with his emotions and how he reacts to yours, it could be one of the signs he is lying about loving you.
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5. He pretends to love you through text
Why would someone pretend to love you through texts is an interesting question. In fake relationships, a partner may lie to the other quite often. Dishonesty might become his second character and he might compulsively lie to you about everything. This lack of transparency is one of the signs he never loved you truly. Sending thousands of romantic text messages and emojis while bailing out on physical one-to-one plans is one of the most important signs he never loved you and is just pretending to love you.
He may be comfortable expressing his love over the phone but saying the same things in person might make him anxious or uncomfortable. He might deceive you or trick you to believe in false stories to cover up his mistakes and pretend to love you even when he has no real feelings for you. Besides, texting can be the perfect wall to hide behind if he is trying to project himself as someone he’s not.
This might be one of the signs he doesn’t have feelings for you and is just playing with your time and emotions. You don’t want to invest yourself in such a relationship where there is no commitment or seriousness from the other side. If you often find yourself asking, “Does he really love me, or is he playing with me?”, chances are that you might be onto something. In such cases, it’s best to have a proper conversation with him and make firm decisions, for you don’t want to waste your time and energy over something fake.
6. Is envious of others in your life
When your partner has ulterior motives and his heart is devoid of real love for you, he might develop feelings of envy or jealousy. And dealing with envy or unhealthy jealousy in relationships is an exhausting and burdensome task. He may feel uncomfortable when you get too close to other people in your life and might feel like you are slipping away from his grip.
These feelings give rise to unnecessary manipulation and trickery as he may want to tear you apart from other people. All this deception stems from his need to have you exclusively to himself and may lead to an unhealthy or toxic relationship. His intervention in your relationship with other people can frustrate you, and in the worst case, leave a mental scar for life. This is not how real love feels. Love is something warm and enriching, something that helps you grow, something that’s always there, while also giving you the required space.
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7. Doesn’t put in the effort & gives up easily
Fake love cannot withstand the tests of time and adversities. If your partner throws in the towel as soon as you encounter a fight or any inconvenience in your relationship, then it might be one of the glaring signs his love is fading or he never loved you at all. Someone who loves you and cares for you will make sure there are no doubts and confusion between you two.
All relationships demand effort from both partners. But when you realize that you are the only one putting in the effort in your relationship, it becomes clear that the other person does not have any real feelings for you. Such relationships are usually one-sided and there is, more often than not, a lack of mutual trust and respect between the partners. This might be one of the major signs he doesn’t have feelings for you and is just pretending.
8. You never discuss the future
All real relationships are based on the hope that your love will never fade and would probably last a lifetime. However, no matter how free-spirited and impromptu a person is, talking about his future with you is an important test that can prove his honest intentions and love for you. Try discussing future plans with him and if you notice him getting irritated or acting uninterested, probably, he is not in for a long-term relationship and this bond is just a fling – without any feelings of love.
Avoiding such conversations altogether might be one of the signs he doesn’t have feelings for you and he’s just in it for some fun before he moves on. It’s important to keep in mind that not being ready for a long-term relationship is absolutely normal, provided both the partners are on the same page. But if you are not too sure about where you stand, then this test will help you clear your relationship situation.
When trying to decipher your future together, it would also help to be on the lookout for the signs he is forcing himself to love you and doesn’t actually love you in the first place. If you are unclear about where your relationship stands, it’s better to have a one-on-one conversation and figure out your priorities and future plans. Make sure to not give signs you are begging for love and try to judge the situation as rationally as possible to avoid future heartbreaks.
9. His actions are not consistent with his words
Recently, my cousin opened up to me about her relationship, and said, “He says he loves me but I don’t think so.” Consistency of character lays down the foundation of trust in a relationship. If a guy consistently lives up to his promises or keeps his word, there are high chances of you trusting his words and actions. However, if he constantly says one thing and goes on to do something entirely different, it is one of the glaring signs he faked it during the relationship.
If he tells you he loves you but you still feel that he is trying to hurt or disrespect you, it is the most prominent sign of all signs he never loved you, or his pretentious love is fading away. It would be best if you were on the lookout for the signs that suggest that he does not respect you in such cases. Make sure that you’re not forcing a relationship when he doesn’t want to put his time and energy into it in the first place.
Signs his love is not real are always in front of you. But it requires observation and an unbiased approach to identify them. Even in movies, there is no ‘true love’ without a bit of drama surrounding it. But identifying fake love in real life might be the biggest challenge of all time. Signs he is lying about loving you are usually harder to notice than you might think. If you do decide to test a guy to see if he really loves you, these tell-tale indicators would probably help you identify the signs his love is not real.
This is something you feel from within. Be it feeling more at ease around him, or your mind and body reacting to them spontaneously, signs that it’s real love is easy to notice in yourself as well as in your partner. You can tell if it’s true love by the way they look at you, the way they treat you, the way they do little gestures for you, the way they prioritize you in their lives, and more.
If they are distant emotionally and are often lacking in terms of communication with you, it’s one of the primary signs of them faking love towards you. Is there a lack of concern towards you? Are you always the one making plans for the two of you? Does he always give up during a conflict? These can be all the signs using which you can tell if a guy is faking his love toward you and is with you for some ulterior motives probably.
If his actions don’t match his words, it can mean that he’s lying about loving you and doesn’t really love you. If he doesn’t really put the effort into your relationship, but only keeps saying how much he loves and cherishes you, it means he’s lying about loving you and doesn’t actually do. This is even truer when you have tried to confront him for his behavior and he still refuses to change.