You get into a relationship with the hope of a “happily ever after”. But then one day, you decide to break up because the relationship was not working out for you. Wait, are you second-guessing your decision now? Is there a tiny nook in your heart that still wants this person back? No matter what the reason behind the breakup, no matter how long your relationship lasted, the end of your relationship will be hurtful for you, even more so if you regret breaking up.
Someone who was once important in your life will not be by your side anymore. However, what if you cannot move on and regret your decision? Perhaps you broke up in a fit of rage and you regret hurting your beloved as well as yourself. You might get confused regarding your feelings about the breakup.
We quickly tend to assume that when two people break up it’s because one of them either cheated or turned out to be abusive or toxic. Well, that’s not always the case. Sometimes two partners who are very much fond of each other may part ways due to certain differences in their goals and life choices or even family issues.
It’s plausible that at that point, the reason for the breakup seemed perfectly valid to you. As you let the distance sink in, the impulsive breakup regret hits you hard. And, before you know it, you are back to square one thinking, “Damn, I regret breaking up with him/her. Did I make a hasty decision?”.
That state of dubiety is pure hellish. Your brain assures you you did the right thing. But the heart wants what it wants, right? If that’s where you’re at, fret not. This article will put forth signs that will help you recognize whether you regret breaking up or not.
Reasons That Trigger Post-Breakup Regret
First of all, it is important that you understand the reasons that might be making you feel guilty and regretful about your breakup. Introspect and try to spot the root of the causes which trigger you to regret after a breakup. Some of those reasons could be:
- Breaking up too soon: You might have broken up with your partner too soon and did not give your relationship a chance to grow
- Hasty breakup: You might have decided to break up in haste and did not get the necessary closure from your relationship
- Loneliness: You feel lonely and are not ready to be single yet
- Fear of dating: You are afraid to jump into the dating world again
- Losing a good partner: You feel anxious that you will never find anyone nearly as nice as your former partner
Post-breakup regret can make your life miserable, as you keep missing your ex and are not able to find peace. So you have to deal with it and perhaps give your relationship another chance when you are sure about your feelings. Sometimes, it takes people quite a long time to comprehend the significance of their ex in their life.
My cousin, Andrew, was in college when he ended a 3-year-old relationship over a petty issue. He was doing just fine after the breakup, even got back in the game surprisingly early. Then, one morning, I ran into him at a coffee shop, a wrecked soul with dark circles and messy hair.
That day Andrew told me he started to regret breaking up with her months later. Only after he met new people, did he realize that what they had was extremely precious. Watch out! You never know when the past relationship will cast its giant shadow on your way to hold you back from any progress or peace of mind.
12 Signs You Regret Breaking Up And Should Give Another Chance
After any breakup, it is natural to feel distressed and hurt. Grief takes over and one starts wondering why it happened. Signs of regret begin to surface and one gets confused. However, if you really feel that it is not the grief that is hurting you, it is the regret, then you need to forget the pain and give your relationship another go.
Hurt is essentially a part of the breakup but the end of a relationship a breakup does not necessarily leave you in regret. Although it can be difficult to segregate the two emotions. Let us help you figure out whether you are actually regretting your breakup or this is just post-breakup grief doing the talking with these 12 tell-tale signs:
1. Your ex is always on your mind
One of the very first signs you regret breaking up is that you cannot get your ex off your mind. Despite all the efforts you make to forget about your ex, he/she is deeply etched in your mind. Everything in your life seems to remind you of them.
Your apartment is filled with reminders of them, from that coffee mug to the curtains you selected together. You become a sniffing bear when you find out that hoodie they left at your place last winter. You keep thinking about what exactly went wrong and why you took the decision of breaking up. If your thoughts about your ex are mostly positive, it is definitely a sign that you regret breaking up with him/her.
Related Reading: Mean Things We Do Or Say To Our Loved Ones In The Name Of Love
2. No one matches up to his/her standards
After the breakup, you get back on the dating scene. But alas! You are unable to find anyone who matches up to your ex’s standards. No one is able to impress you or hold your attention for long because your ex still occupies that special place in your heart and mind. You totally regret breaking up with your girlfriend or boyfriend and are angry with yourself for hurting them.
3. You are okay with the idea of being friends with your ex
Ever since my best friend broke up with her ex, I have received a hundred messages like “Bro, I regret breaking up with him. Should I call him already and apologize? Do you think he will agree to meet me for a coffee? Just as friends?” If you regret your breakup, then you will make all efforts to keep in touch with your ex. So you will obviously be okay with the idea of being friends with your ex and always be ready to help him/her in whatever way you can.
4. You are ready to let go of the past issues
You will notice a new side of you after the breakup. You will start letting go of the past issues that triggered the breakup and probably forgive your ex for the mistakes they have committed. You will also realize that your ex is not perfect and has flaws. But you will still feel like you should not have let them go.
Here, try to draw that fine line between accepting the shortcomings and any toxic trait. Yes, you regret breaking up with her/him. But is it worth going back to a state of compromising in a relationship that will torture you both?
5. Your ex helped you be a better person
Your ex has a big role to play in the person you have become today, and after the breakup, you may find yourself feeling a little lost. You will feel empty and less motivated to adhere to the way of life you became accustomed to when you were with your ex and long to have them back.
Related Reading: 9 Signs He Regrets Hurting You
6. You both still feel connected to each other
You both have spent months or even years together. So it is natural that you built a connection that cannot be broken that easily. However, if you find yourself making efforts to nurture that connection and you basically rely on your ex for everything, it means that you are not ready to move on.
7. You keep tabs on your ex’s life
Even after the breakup, you are interested in what is going on in your ex’s life. So you keep scanning their social media profiles for updates, text/call them whenever possible, and even make excuses to meet your ex. Who are they dating now? Are they really happy without you? Did they at least share one sad quote after the split?
Do you still want to know every little detail about their life? Stalking your ex on social media is a big sign you regret breaking up with her months later or that you’re still hung up on him and want a second chance.
8. You fail to find inner peace
It is only natural to feel empty after a breakup since a relationship takes up a lot of your effort, time and mind space. But then, if you have solid reasons to break up, you also feel a sense of relief. A breakup will only make you feel better if you are sure about it. If you are failing to find inner peace and feel guilty, then something is definitely wrong.
9. You still crave your ex sexually
This might be a major regret after the breakup if you had an amazing chemistry and comfort zone with your partner. You may wonder, “Will I ever have that kind of intimacy with anyone else again? How much effort do I have to put in to know the new person that well?”
You must have shared some of the most intense and passionate moments with your ex. After the breakup, you still sexually crave them and no one else can seem to match the fiery connection you shared with them. This means that you might actually still have feelings for your ex.
10. You begin to believe that the reason behind your breakup can be fixed
When you relive the moments of your breakup, you begin to realize that maybe the reason behind your breakup can be fixed. You are convinced that you both can figure a way out of the mess that led to your breakup. And this feeling is enough proof of the fact that you regret breaking up.
11. Tokens of love given by your ex are still important to you
Mostly after someone breaks up for good, they get rid of all the remnants of the relationship. But if you cannot bring yourself to part with the tokens of appreciation and love your ex gave you when you were together, it’s a sign that you cannot seem to erase the memories.
You still hold on to the nostalgia, trying to relive the good times through material possessions. Why? This happens when you are regretting a breakup and are not confident about your own decision. You actually want to give another chance to your relationship.
12. Above all, you miss your relationship
You miss your relationship, your ex, the feeling of being in love and being loved, cuddling with your ex, holding hands together, and so on. You miss all of this and whenever you think about your relationship, you are enveloped with a deep feeling of sadness and regret.
If these signs have convinced you that you truly regret your breakup, then it is time you take matters into your own hands and try to mend your relationship as soon as possible. Stop regretting and make a move to get your love back in your life.
Related Reading: How To Make Him Regret Taking You For Granted
How to go about giving another chance to your relationship?
Giving another chance to your relationship and your ex is not easy. You have to take a step back and evaluate your relationship. Make sure you have realistic relationship expectations and a practical perspective on your relationship so that you can make a wise decision.
Let’s go through the signs you regret breaking up once more. Whenever you are lonely, ask yourself, are you lacking a solid purpose in life? Do you want to fall back to your ex to fill that void? You wish if nothing at least the friendship should stay, so you can hear their voice or meet them. Are you sure you are strong enough to smother all the feelings and carry on? Because that might lead to complications worse than regretting a breakup.
You could be optimistic all you want to think the emotional connection you had with them cannot fall apart in a few arguments. You have made up your mind to let go of the bitter memories and start afresh, but have they? What if you have hurt them badly? While you are trying to decode and deal with the impulsive breakup regret, what if your ex saw it as a blessing in disguise and decided to move on?
Now, now, I am not here to cast a bleak cloud over your hopes of getting back together with your ex. I am just laying down a series of events in front of you, bringing your attention to what could go wrong. It’s absolutely admirable if you decide, “That’s it, I will not regret breaking up with her anymore. Rather, I would step up and do something about it.” If you’re absolutely sure that your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend is the one for you, you will put all the effort into making it work this time – that’s all.
If you want to be absolutely sure about your decision, consider talking it out with the people who are your sounding board in life. Spend more time with them to improve your relationship complications and pay good attention to their advice. In addition, ensure that the good moments of the relationship outweigh the bad ones; then only you can find happiness in giving another chance.
You can also give another chance to your relationship when you both are willing to take responsibility for past mistakes and are ready to work toward changing your dynamics for the better. Efforts from both sides are essential for a second chance to succeed. If you regret hurting each other and cannot move on even after months post-breaking up, you need to sit down and acknowledge your feelings. Maybe even include your ex.
So talk it out with your ex and work things out. If you both truly love each other, then we believe that your love can triumph over all the hardships. So go ahead and give your relationship another chance.