Since time immemorial, we have heard of and witnessed men going astray, men not staying true to the one they love, men falling for another woman, or men leaving one woman for another. What makes them stray, and cheat? Is it temptation for the unknown, is it a need for adventure, or is it just that we fall out of love with one person and seek another?
There is no black and white answer to this. Here we shall be looking at why the men who are from Mars cheat on women from Venus. Logistics, and stats and figures, which point to the ratio, testify that men are more likely to cheat.
I wish there were one reason, but technology also came in and made it a lot easier to get entangled today. One would immediately think sex is the biggest reason for men to cheat, but it turns out that it is not. Issues in a relationship, like non-communication, emotional disconnect, boredom, compatibility issues, turn out to be the bigger reasons.
1. Marital bliss no more
Men tend to be more emotional than many of us give them credit. Non-communication, or rude behaviour could hurt their feelings as much as a woman’s. Sometimes men go in search of emotional solace in another woman who readily gives them the respect, dignity and tenderness they find no more in their primary relationship.
2. Sexual dissatisfaction
Though I don’t over credit this reason, yes sexual fantasies, fetishes, or plain arousal for another woman could be a reason. While many men are one-woman men, there are also men who are not satisfied with the same woman for a lifetime. Or it could just be the need to have more than one partner and curiosity about the other.
3. Old flames
When we do not close with our past, our past comes back. Old girlfriends through social media and new apps, technology aiding men to hide and have easier flings are also a cause for affairs. Dissatisfaction with the present and a desire to revisit the past just to check, could lead to an affair.
Related reading: 6 reasons why women have an affair
4. Falling out of love
Sometimes he simply doesn’t love her anymore. Love is elusive for most people, but some take their eternal search too far. They never find love with one person and keep looking and seeking newer relationships till they find out that the problem lies with them.
5. Roving eye
Some men simply can’t keep from looking at other women. While checking out is a done thing, pursuing, chasing, and conquering are a high for many such men. They are never satisfied with one partner and an affair is a compulsion.
Related reading: 6 reasons people give for having affairs
6. Office affair
This is a serious one and usually is from an emotional fallout at home. Such relationships may begin as friendships and lead to something on business trips, with the comfort of being away from home.
No, it’s not how you look, it’s the way you make him feel. And sometimes, it may not be about you at all. It may just be mid-life and existential crisis the man is going through as an individual.
If you do find out, whether you want to work it out or go separate ways is another big choice and decision to make. Sometimes couples emerge stronger, sometimes very bitter, since they were already having issues in their marriage. Whatever the case, communication must never stop. Men need to be coaxed into talking and making necessary eye contact. Don’t give up on that, even if it is hard.Published in